Tag Archives: Motherhood

What I’ve Learned This Summer Is That I can’t Have It All and It’s Ok

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I struggled with what to title this post. Should it be “You Can’t Have Everything!!!”, “What I’ve Been Up To”, and then the current title came to mind. Yes it has been a while and it’s been mostly by my choosing. This Summer my son was 5, the last Summer he and I would have together before he starts his school career. It’s also the first one where he and I could completely enjoy (he being more independent).

Before this Summer, when we would go to the park, the pool, the beach or even my backyard, I would have to stick close by him. This Summer everything changed. I felt like he was more independent, more confident, more understanding of rules and consequences. This has been the Summer where we could go to the park and I could relax more, where we would go to the pool and I could enjoy watching him jump off the diving board (with his life jacket on), knowing that he can swim and that he’s comfortable in the water. Although I’m still extremely vigilant, and by his side, I can watch a little more and be a little less hands on. Does that make sense?

So with this found independence for my son, came a little less independence for this mom. I found that we were out more in the pool and beach and less at home, which mean’t less time for me to blog. I just couldn’t justify keeping us both indoors while I spent hours blogging, researching, taking outfit pictures. I wanted us to enjoy the beautiful, warm weather, enjoy our Summer, make memories. So I unconsciously and then consciously made the decision to not kill myself trying to juggle it all, because I just couldn’t!!! I couldn’t blog every day and put in the effort that it required to do good quality posts, while running my household, working (shift work sucks!!!!!!), and trying to enjoy our very short Summer. I didn’t want to plunk my son down in front of the tv while I blogged. I wanted us to enjoy our Summer. I wanted to enjoy being his mom and play with him. Also please keep in mind that my husband and I have no family here to help us. It’s just him and I and my son is also not in daycare, so that means it really is just my husband, me and my son. No help.

There’s 2 things that I have learned in my 35 years of existence and that’s “Never say never” and “You can’t have it all!!!!!”. It’s true, you can’t have it all, no matter how hard you try. You can delude yourself into thinking you can, but you can’t. Somethings gotta give and will give. There’s no such thing are perfection; as a perfect home, perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect child, perfect mother, perfect wife. What does exist is making it right for you. All these superficial magazine articles titled “You can have it all, just read these 5 points” is total bullshit. Something will suffer, someone will suffer, and most likely it will be you, your sanity and your health.

I felt like that was happening to me. I was trying to juggle it all and I felt like I was going crazy. I was frustrated, irritable and exhausted, not enjoying things and I didn’t want that. I wanted to enjoy being a mom and enjoy my son being 5. So I chose to make that my priority. I will always have blogging, but my son will not always be 5. Next Summer will be different. He will be 6 by then with different needs and life will also be different as it’s always changing.

So I hope by writing this post you understand that you can’t have it all, to give yourself permission to make your family and your health a priority. I read many comments and posts this Summer from other fellow mom bloggers about how it’s been hard to juggle everything in the Summer. It’s ok. We all feel the same way.

I am hoping that once my son is in school full time (the teachers are on strike, so I’m hoping that by the time you guys read this on Monday it has resolved), I can dedicate more time to my blog and be back to blogging more regularily. I have so many ideas for my blog and what I would like, but I have to be patient as all good things come to those who wait.

May this blog inspire you to realize that you can’t have it all and to not beat yourself up over it. Do the best you can and that’s all you can really do.

Happy Labour Day Everyone!!!!!

We are headed out to enjoy our last long weekend of freedom and of the Summer.

Thank You, My Son For Reminding Me That There’s A Child In All Of Us!!!!!

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Being an adult is hard!!!!! It’s stressful, tiring, frustrating and at times makes you cry. Having a child just heightens these feelings. You get more stressed knowing that you have this little being relying on you for everything. Your levels of fatigue go to a level that you never thought was possible!!!! :( You lose your temper at the smallest things due to lack of sleep and anything will make you cry. But then a time comes when all your hard work pays off, where you child gets to a point where you can actually do things with them.

This past Summer is really the first time I can say that I’ve felt like this. Where I can go out with my son and not stress, and have fun. I realized this last week when we went to the beach. The sun was shining, the lake was inviting and warm and we were together, playing without a care in the world. I don’t have many moments like that, where I feel like a kid without a care in the world!!!!!! I thanked my son for that. I told him how much I appreciate that he reminds me to be a kid and to not things too seriously.

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We’ve had more fun this Summer than any other since he’s been born. Maybe it’s the fact that he is older or it’s me being more relaxed or a bit of both, but I truly can say that I’ve had the best Summer ever. It’s so nice to spend time at the beach or the outdoor pool. We have an outdoor pool nearby and we go 2-3 times a week. Don’t get me wrong, I do plenty of things at home, cook, clean, work, blog, etc, but I’ve really tried to ensure that we do something fun every day and that we enjoy this time together. For example, I bought him a workbook and while he does that, I scrapbook. Honestly it’s so much fun. We sit at a table together and work, listen to the Frozen and Tangled soundtrack, sing along and work. It’s really nice. I feel like all that hard work at the beginning is paying off.

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The other day I was absolutely exhausted from an insane nightshift and my son came up to me and told me to forget about work and he pretended to take the tired thoughts out of my mind. He made me cry. It was exactly what I needed and you know what, my fatigue went away!!!!!

So the point of my post is this, that although this stage of your child rearing is crazy, it pays off, it gets easier. You do get a point where you can go to the park and watch him play and you yourself can relax and also play. You are reminded of what it feels like to be a kid and honestly it’s in all of us. We just need to tap into it more. We need to relax and let loose more.

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So my dear Aiden, thank you so much for reminding me that I also need to have fun and that it’s ok to be a kid once in a while.

May this blog inspire you to tap into your inner childhood and have fun with your kids.

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Happy Friday & Weekend Everyone!!!!!!

Motherhood & My Son Are Like The Colours Of The Rainbow

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I was contacted by the company Julep to do a post about Motherhood and write about someone in my family and what colour represents them. Without hesitation, I chose my son, because although his favourite colour is blue, he absolutely adores rainbows.

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Julep Nail Polish

To just describe my son with one colour or adjective would not be accurate. He embodies all the colours of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet and I added pink because he does. Motherhood, like my son, embodies many colours. You have moments where you see red and are fiery, days where you are enveloped in yellow sunshine, days where there’s a lot of love and tenderness and even days where you are zen like the colour blue.

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Motherhood is multifaceted and parallels the ups and downs of the world’s largest roller coaster. There are moments of joy, frustrations, sadness, angst, anger and moments where you just want to give up. Then I take a look at my son’s beautiful smiling face and all my troubles disappear. One day my son and I were leaving the mall and we were singing songs together. I noticed a woman looking at me, while I was putting my son into the car. As I was leaving she came over to me and thanked me for singing with my son. She told me that it made her day to hear my son and I sing together, that instead of being distracted with my phone, I was singing with him. It brought tears to my eyes, because my son truly makes my heart and soul sing and my heart grow. Some days I joke that I’m like the Grinch in that my heart has grown exponentially since my son has been born.

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When I see my son, I see all the colours of the rainbow. I see his fiery side (apparently that’s what his name means), his enthusiasm for life, his warm heart and kind spirit, his ability to be completely in the moment and just immersed in happiness, his love of nature and animals, his complete trust in me, his creative and imaginative side (boy does he have a big imagination!!!!), and most importantly his ability to be tender, caring and loving. My son truly emulates all the colours of the rainbow. If I could see his Aura, I would see a continuous rainbow surrounding him.

So what colours represent motherhood for you? Or your children? It is interesting to see how different colours evoke different emotions and represent different things to different people.

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Happy Monday and Victoria Day!!!!!!

 

Mother’s Day & Urban Decay Eye Palette Giveaway

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Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and my husband has promised me that I am going to love it. It’s been a very hectic couple of weeks and we haven’t had any down time, so my husband promises Sunday to be a very relaxing day for us, especially for me. Honestly all I want for Mother’s day is to spend it with my 2 favourite people: my husband and son, to be with them without any distractions and to honestly not have to cook or clean. I can’t wait!!!!! :)

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For me being a mother has been the most rewarding, frustrating, emotionally draining experience of my life. It has taught me patience beyond anything that I thought I was capable of. It has shown me that just when I think I can’t give anymore, I can. As a mom I have reserves saved for days where I just don’t think I can do it anymore. Being a mother to my son fills me absolute joy and love and wonderment. I stop myself and look at my son and realize that I made this amazing being. It also terrifies me think that I’m also 100% responsible for him, to raise him, to guide, to nurture him. It has not been easy, filled with lots of bumps and many, many, many mistakes along the way, but I wouldn’t change any of it.

So this Mother’s Day, please take some time for yourself, to reflect on your role as a mother, to rejuvenate yourself and thank yourself for being the best mom you can be. Most importantly HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey y’all! 


Some seriously fashionable, lovely bloggers teamed up with me to bring you this incredible giveaway consisting of some of my all-time favorite beauty products. 


An Urban Decay Naked Palette (you get to choose which one you want!), a full-size tube of Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion in Sin (my favorite), an Urban Decay Glide-On Eye Pencil in Demolition, AND a $50 Sephora Gift will be yours if you win! 


Get started below to win $144 worth of products/gift cards, and be sure to check out the blogs of all these incredible women! 

This giveaway is brought to you by your host:

LOOK BY LIZ LEWIS


And your Lovely Co-Hosts:


Emily - Something Gold, Something Blue

Rebekah - Lipstick and Lullabies

Agi - Vodka Infused Lemonade

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Darrica - Reese & CoCo

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Alli - An Alli Event

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Aisha - True Soul and Spirit 

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Jena - I’m Perfectly Human

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Natalie - Natalie Loves Beauty

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To enter, add your entries to the form below. You can enter from May 8 - May 22, 2014. One winner will be randomly selected after the end date, and the winner will have 24 hours to respond via email with their address. Anyone 18 and older, anywhere in the world can enter to win. Void where prohibited. All entries will be verified to ensure fairness. 

Moms, Let’s Stop The Hate Speech & Negative Behaviour!!!

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I wrote a post last October called “Moms vs. Moms: Why can’t we just all play nicely together?!?!?” In it I discuss how women, especially moms are beyond mean to one another; how we take our own insecurities and put them onto another mother. I’m honestly tired of it!!!! I had an incident happen a while ago, where someone I knew totally blew a situation completely out of proportion. The reaction was not appropriate for what had happened. Another friend of mine pointed out that it has nothing to do with me, but all to do with that person. Well can I just say that I’m tired of that!!! We all have shit in our lives, all of us!!!!!! That doesn’t give anyone the right to treat the other person disrespectfully. As women, especially mothers, do we have to take our own insecurities and issues out on another person and treat them like garbage? It’s not the other person’s fault that you feel the way you do about your life. This is a great quote that I try and remember whenever someone is mean or hurtful:

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Here’s the thing, the reason why I’m rehashing this topic is that I recently read a blog post: “10 Types of Moms That Suck“. I was enraged after reading this. The person, being a mother herself, should not be perpetuating this kind of childish, spiteful, hateful behaviour!!!!! What are we teaching our children?!?!?!??! That if someone is prettier than you, or smarter than you, or dresses better than you, or is more conscientious about what they feed their kid more than you, or is happier than you, that gives you the right to treat them like shit or write a post like this. THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH WOMEN!!!!!!! Why must we always tear the other person down to make ourselves feel better??? Why??? I’m so sick and tired of it!!! Let’s get one thing straight, the grass is not always greener on the other side, that what you see on the outside may not be what’s going on in the inside and who cares if that person dresses better than you, or feeds their kids Kale, or chooses to use hand sanitizer? It’s none of your business or your concern!!!!

I recently read a funny saying/cartoon on Facebook that said “If women ran the world, there wouldn’t be wars, we just wouldn’t talk to one another!!” Isn’t that the truth!!!!! What really hurts me regarding this post was when the author wrote this: “The ‘Always Super Chipper and Well Dressed,” Mom. I hate you. No really, I just… hate you. I’m 100% sure you sold your soul to Satan, or maybe Martha Stewart. Nope, don’t even speak to me, I feel more disgusting and unworthy the closer you get. I’m not even sure these Yoga pants are clean, I may have worn them to the gym yesterday, who even knows anymore?” So how are you justified in writing this? How does a person who is well dressed affect you? They made the choice in the morning to get dressed in something other than yoga pants and you made the choice to dress in yoga pants. You both made a choice. They aren’t holding it against you that you chose to wear yoga pants, so please stop holding it against them.

Yes I’m pissed off because I’m sick and tired of women tearing each other down and not supporting one another. You should see the hateful speech I read on a mother’s forum last week regarding Vaccinations. It was awful. I mean down right hurtful and malicious. Honestly women, we need to start getting our heads of out of asses and start standing up for one another instead of tearing each other down.

I didn’t include the name of the author of that blog because I don’t want to out her or start something. The point of me writing this is so that we can stop this hateful speech against one another. What are we teaching our children? We need to be better role models than that!!! Shame on us!!! So let’s stop writing posts about why the other mom is making you feel insecure and let’s start writing posts about supporting one another, even if we don’t practice what the other person does. I have to admit that yes some of her points the other made were valid and funny, but I don’t like the tone in which this article was written.

At the end of the day we are all just trying to do our best. What my best is may not mesh with yours and vice versa. But who cares!!! If we stopped judging one another, we may even learn a thing or two from each other. Being a mother is the hardest job ever, so why are we making it harder?? Let’s band together and help one another. If we see another mom struggling we should support her, instead of standing there judging. None of us are perfect mothers and women, we all could do things a bit better.

May this blog help us to stop judging one another, to stop writing hateful and childish posts and to stop treating other women badly for our insecurities. Let’s start leading our children by example. Let’s teach them that it’s ok to be different and that we support other people and help them. Let’s teach them to perpetuate love, not hate.

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them.

This song, originally from the Beatles, from the Love Actually soundtrack, is very apropos to this post:

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Happy Friday and Weekend Everyone!!!!!

 

Moms Vs. Moms: Why Can’t We Just All Play Nicely Together!!!!

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Why can’t we women just be nice to one another?? Why is it that we must be catty, hurtful, spiteful and vengeful towards one another?? Why can’t we all just get along???? This picture is a perfect example of women. We are constantly at each other’s throats, judging the other person and gossiping about another woman. Why can’t we just play nicely with each other??

We teach our children, from a young age, to be nice to one another, so why can’t we moms practice what we preach??? We aren’t nice to one another. We’re all guilty of judging another women the minute they walk into the room. We give them the once over look (and you know what look I’m talking about) and make them feel like shit. We’re all guilty of that, including myself!!!! Am I proud of that? NO!!!!!! I’m not and for a while now I’ve made a conscious effort to not do it.

I had this happen to me a few years ago at a child’s birthday party. One of the moms attending the party gave me the worst up and down stare I’ve ever had. I felt awful afterwards. Not sure what her problem was, was it the cardigan and belt that I wore that offended her? I’m not sure.

Here’s the truth, it had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with her. She was self-conscious and took it out on me. This is our problem Moms and Women!!!!!!!! We make it out to be about the other person when in fact it has nothing to do with them. It’s all about us and how insecure we feel about ourselves!!!!

Why do we have to make another mom feel crappy about herself because she took the time to dress up or that she packed a certain lunch for her kid or that she took the time and effort to make cute cupcakes for her kid’s classmates!!!!! Why???? Do we really feel better about ourselves after we treat another woman like shit??? I don’t think so!!!!!!!!

Take men for example. There’s no bickering like this. If another guy is wearing something they like they say “hey man, like your vest, where’d you get it?” If even that. They don’t sit there eyeing the other guy, giving him the evil eye, because he had the audacity to dress up. No, they just sit around and drink beers and shoot the shit about sports. They don’t harbour any resentment towards the other guy for dressing a certain way or for doing something better than them.

We women need to stop this awful, childish behaviour. Like I said before, WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF THIS BEHAVIOR!!!!! At one point in our lives we’ve all done this and I’m ashamed.

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This could not have come out at a better time. This woman posted this picture on her Facebook page to remind us all that we are busy and full of excuses why not to exercise and the backlash against this poor woman has been insane. People are saying that she is a bad mother, neglecting her kids, “fat bashing”. Honestly the only people saying this are those that are unhappy with themselves and their bodies. They are insecure about the way they look and feel the need to lash out at this mom. This woman was not “fat bashing”, she was merely trying to make a point that we all have our excuses for not exercising but we need to start making it a priority.

I don’t know this woman and I don’t want to speak for her, but here’s the message I got out of this: she is teaching her kids that she values herself enough to take good care of herself; that she wants to be around to live a healthy life for herself and for her kids; she is teaching her kids about health and nutrition. So please all you insecure people that are ripping this poor woman a new hole, get off your fucking pedestals and stop attacking her!!!! Start looking at your own life and stop judging someone else. You’re not going to change the way you feel about yourself by attacking someone else. All this woman was trying to do was shed some light on the fact that we are all busy and have a myriad of excuses for not exercising. We all need to make a conscious effort to get healthy.

The DJ’s on the radio the other day were debating this and one of them said it was “fat bashing” and the other one said that we are all guilty of this. She raised a great question “none of us spend any time in front of the tv!!!!!!”. We all do and that was the point, this woman is not neglecting her kids as she works out 1 hr a day and her husband looks after them. She is making a choice to take care of herself instead of sitting in front of the tv, which we are all guilty of.

My good friend is a fitness trainer and she looks amazing. Do I judge her for looking the way she does? No. I’m proud of her and I also know that I will never look like her, but that’s ok. Her goal is to get people to be healthier and that is also the goal of Maria’s.

We all make the choice to eat that donut and to not exercise. No one forces us to eat unhealthy, it’s our choice and we should stop slamming other women for their choice to be healthy. I love my friend Jenny and am proud of how healthy and amazing she looks. She is my inspiration. We should look at Maria for inspiration, not to look like her, but to be the healthiest we can be.

So please let’s all stop this insane business of bashing one another, beating the other person down all because of our own insecurities. Good for this woman for taking care of herself. Good for that mom who dresses nicely. Good for that mom who takes the time to make cupcakes for her kids class. Good for that mom who makes her baby’s baby food from scratch. This is not a competition ladies, so let’s stop perpetuating this. We should be empowering one another, not breaking each other down!!!!!

I vow to stop this right now. All it takes is for us, women, to take a stand and say no more!!!!! I will not tolerate this anymore and nor should the rest of us. Let’s stop bullying one another and making each other feel like shit because of how we feel about ourselves. Let’s start building one another up to be the best moms, women, wives, people we can be!!!!

I know that I focus this blog on fashion, but when you look at the core of it, it’s not about designer brands or dressing like a movie star, it’s about being the best person you can be, it’s about feeling good about yourself, about dressing so that you feel pretty.

Yes I’m mad, because I thought all this childish behaviour was long done and buried, but I realized not that long ago, wrote a post about it here, that we women behave like a bunch of 30-40 year old teenagers!!!!!

May this blog inspire us all to stop judging one another and start behaving the way we want our children to behave!!!!

Good for Maria for having the courage to post this picture and for taking the time to stay healthy for herself and for her children. Let’s all stand together and support Maria and not tear her down!!!!!!

Happy Friday and Weekend!!!!!!

Week Outfit Recap, My Impressions Of Target & What Being A Mom Means To Me

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I wanted to thank everyone for their comments regarding my post about my bloggers conference. I’m really excited about the new design for my blog. Can’t wait to show it to you all. It’s almost ready!! :)

This is what I wore yesterday: my maxi dress, jean jacket, sandals and a statement necklace. I’ve been eagerly waiting months to start wearing my maxi dress. I was in Target yesterday and this woman came out of nowhere, told me that she loved my dress and proceeded to open my jean jacket to get a better look at my dress. I wasn’t sure what to do or say. She seemed harmless and really liked my dress. I took it as a compliment. Has that ever happened to anyone else?

Maxi Dress

Maxi Dress (Old Navy). Jean Jacket (Gap). Sandals (Aldo). Purse & Necklace (J Crew). Arm Candy (Stella & Dot). Watch (Michael Kors).

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This is what I am wearing today: my grey bermuda shorts, black simple top, my flower sandals and my jean jacket. This is definitely a staple and a must have outfit for a mom on the go. It’s comfortable, stylish and allows me to chase after my son at the park.

Mom on the go Outfit

Jean Jacket & T-Shirt (Gap). Shorts (R W & Co.). Sandals (Steve Madden). Purse (Coach). Arm Candy (Stella & Dot, The Bay). Necklace (My Name Necklace).

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Recap of my outfits this week

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Which one is your favorite? I think mine is the maxi dress with the jean jacket.

So yesterday I finally went to the new Target store that opened up near my house. I’ve heard good and bad reviews. This is what I found:

  • Prices are comparable to Walmart.
  • Greater selection of certain products.
  • Great kids products selection.
  • They carry Seventh Generation products. Cheaper than my local grocery store.
  • Closer to my house than Walmart is.
  • They have a pretty good shoe collection for women. Fell in love with this nude patent pair with studded heels. (did not buy it).
  • Their women’s section is pathetic. No where near as good as the one in the states.
  • Their diapers are cheaper than Walmart.
  • They price match.

So will I go to the new Target? Yes because:

  1. It’s closer to my house than Walmart is
  2. Prices are similar to that of Walmart
  3. I’m hoping that they get a better selection of women’s fashion.

What Being A Mom Means To Me

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A few months back a few bloggers did a series on what being a mom means to them. It got me thinking about what being a mom means to me.

Being a mom means sacrificing many things and that started for me at 4 weeks into my pregnancy. I had such bad morning sickness that I had to give up coffee until well into my 6th month (yes you can drink coffee if you’re pregnant, just as long as you stick to 1 cup and you drank it before you were pregnant). For many of us we begin the sacrifice of giving up alcohol once we start trying. I have to say that was by far the easiest thing to give up until Christmas hit and then it sucked.

Being a mom means getting up in the middle of the night, countless times.

Being a mom means sleep deprivation!!!

Being a mom means my heart melting when Aiden told me that “he loved me” for the first time.

Being a mom means being a super hero to my son.

Being a mom means watching my son grow and excel at things.

Being a mom means cuddling with my son when he feels sad, kissing a boo boo and chasing the monsters away.

Being a mom means falling in love with cars, trucks, firetrucks, garbage trucks, bugs, and anything boy related.

Being a mom means reading the same Curious George story over and over again to a smiling hooligan.

Being a mom means fighting back the tears when I see my son hurt.

Being a mom means learning when to apologize to my son.

Being a mom means being accountable for what I do, because I have a little person watching every little thing I do and say.

Being a mom means trying to find a balance between motherhood and who I was before I had Aiden.

Being a mom means doing the right thing even when it’s the hardest thing in the world.

Being a mom means discipline, structure and routine.

Being a mom means endless hugs and kisses.

Being a mom means countless pillow fights and tickle fights.

Being a mom means having my patience tried, many, many times a day.

Being a mom means learning to say no.

Being a mom means learning about who you are and what you are capable of.

Being a mom means you’re much stronger than you think.

Being a mom means sleep deprivation, sore nipples and recovering from your delivery.

Being a mom means adjusting to your new role as a restaurant to your child.

Being a mom means learning to be a mom.

Being a mom means learning you can’t do everything (I’m still struggling with that one).

Being a mom means learning to let go of your child and letting them make their own mistakes.

Being a mom means learning to guide our children until they become adults and to let them go to make their own lives.

Being a mom means learning to fight for your child.

Being a mom means learning to buy multiples of your child’s favorite toy.

I could go on and on. Being Aiden’s mom means the world to me. Watching him grow every day and develop into this little human is the most amazing thing in the world.

May this blog inspire you to put together your own fabulous mom-on-the-go outfit, to check out the new Target store and to think about what being a mom means to you.

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Happy Mother’s Day to all you fabulous mothers out there!!!!

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Tweed, Cobalt & How To Have The Best Relationship With Your Kids

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I spent all day yesterday at a blogger conference. I’ll post about how it went tomorrow. This is what I am wearing today: a pink long sleeved shirt, cobalt crop pants, tweed jacket and my bow ballet flats. I’m loving this tweed jacket. I think it will be making many appearances on my blog!!! :) If you don’t already own one, you should definitely get one. They are versatile and dress up a simple outfit.

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Jacket (H & M). Pants (J Crew). T-Shirt (Gap). Shoes (Aldo). Purse (Banana Republic). Necklace & Bracelet (Ily Couture).

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How to have the best relationship with your kids

Recently I received a newsletter from Lisa Bunnage (Brat Busters) titled: Parents: 7 Steps to Best Possible Relationship with your Children. I read through it quickly and found the 7 steps to be quite useful.

Parents: 7 Steps to Best Possible Relationship with your Children

  1. Listen. Listen to understand, not just gather information to lecture with. Lecturing is a guaranteed way to get them to stop talking to you. Listen to all their nattering on about every little detail in their lives, their problems, their fun times … everything.
  2. Validate all their Feelings. This isn’t the same as validating behaviour. But remember that feelings are what drive behaviour. If you can get their feelings all sorted out by listening and validating, then their behaviour is going to be affected in a positive way.
  3. Set a good example. Don’t swear, lose your temper or be moody and inconsistent … unless you want the same behaviour from them. Kids learn by watching, not listening. Monkey see, monkey do.
  4. Discipline. Discipline is RULES, MANNERS and CHORES. If you don’t discipline them growing up, then how are they going to discipline themselves when they are teens and young adults? As they get older make sure they have more and more say in how their lives go. Have discipline charts and agreements and contracts if that helps and make sure you have rules to follow also, and consequences when you break rules. That’s a reflection of the #3 step. Discipline works best when mixed with fun (step #7).
  5. Teach them about Accountability. Teach them that everything they say, do and how they act has a consequence, good, bad and even ugly. My kids used to apologize to me if I had to punish them as they understood that it was their fault, not mine. Accountability is magic.
  6. Make the Punishment Fit the Crime. This increases the effectiveness of the whole idea of consequences. E.g., if 5 year old Johnny hits his sister, he has to make her bed for a week. BUT, if sister teases Johnny about making her bed, she has to make his bed for a week instead. Kids are all about actions, this stuff sinks in with them. Teasing is punishable as it’s another form of bullying.
  7. Be Fun. Have fun with your children on their terms, in their world. Don’t just take them to the park and watch them swing, get on the swing next to them and have a swinging race. Be interactive with them, not observant. Be in their world. You invest in this when they’re little and they are much more likely to let you into their teenage world down the road.

Lisa Bunnage (lisa@bratbusters.com)(604-944-7479)

I work very hard every day to try and foster the best relationship I can with my son. I am by no means perfect, continually making mistakes and will continue to do so. Some of these steps are easier than others to apply. For instance step #3 is hard: Set a good example. I try my best not to lose my patience and/or temper but I’m not perfect. I know “monkey see, monkey do”, but after I do get upset, I sit down with my son and explain to him why I lost my temper and that this is not something that he should emulate. I’m not perfect but at least I acknowledge it and work on it.

My favorite one is step #5: teaching them accountability. I feel like there is a void with children and people today regarding being accountable. I feel like no one wants to be accountable for their actions. They keep passing the buck on, instead of owing what they did. My husband and I are constantly teaching our son that he needs to be accountable for his actions and that he needs to take responsibility for it. We try and set a good example by being accountable for our actions. If we don’t teach and hold our children accountable for their actions, how can we expect them to own their behaviour later on.

I think too many people focus on trying to be their kid’s friend, instead of being their parent!!!! Kids need structure, guidance and boundaries. My son has boundaries (although he does try and cross them and test them every once in a while) and he knows what is expected of him and he knows the consequences if he crosses those boundaries. Our focus as parents should be to guide them and teach them how to be the best person they can be, instead of trying to be their friend. Some famous celebrity said that parent first and friendship comes later. I truly believe that.

What are your thoughts on Lisa’s steps? Do you teach your kids to be accountable? Do you practice these steps and if so is it working for you?

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May this blog inspire you to try and form the best relationship you can with your kids and help them to become the best people they can be.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!!!

 

 

Picture Day and Part #3: When You Get Home

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Sweater (Jacob). Jeans and Shirt (Gap). Necklace (Stella and Dot). Boots (Fergalicious).

Above is what I wore yesterday. The weather here has been cold and I felt like being cozy in a sweater. Can I just say again how much I’m loving my boots!!!! :)

Below is what I wore today. I love my pink Gingham shirt. I love how easy it is to layer under a sweater or just wear it on its own. Good thing I knew what I was wearing before I woke up this morning, because it’s been one circus of a morning!!!!

Sweater (Jacob) Gingham Shirt (H & M). Jeans (Gap). Shoes (Aldo). Necklace (Banana Republic). Bracelets (Stella and Dot).

To clarify my last sentence, this morning has been nothing short of a Marathon race. My son was up every 2 hours last night, not 100% sure why. He is not sick. We are thinking a bit of separation anxiety. He has it in his head that he is going to his Grandparent’s place without us. That is not the case, but he keeps asking us not to leave him. So because I was up all night and couldn’t fall back to sleep after he last woke us up at 4 am, I slept in. I woke up with barely 1 hr to get myself and my son out the door. This is why I wrote the above comment about how I am so happy I knew what I was going to wear today. To make matters worse, today is picture day at my son’s preschool. So not only did I have to get us out the door in 1 hr, I had to make sure he was presentable. We made a deal that after the pictures were taken he could wear his Mater top. I spoke with his teacher and she guaranteed me that she would help him get changed. We made it to preschool only 2 minutes late ( I hate being late). So here I am nursing my coffee and writing this blog, before I have to run out the door to finish running errands in time to pick up my son from preschool. All in a day’s work, right Moms!!! :)

Onto Part #3 of my shopping series: When you get home!!!

1. Take a look at everything you bought and try to make outfits out of them. If there is an item that you are unsure of, try and see how it works with the rest of your wardrobe. If you are finding that it doesn’t seem to be working with what you have, then return it. Don’t keep it, wasting space in your closet and gathering dust. Take it back and get something that will go with the rest of your wardrobe.

2. Play dress up and see how many new outfits you can make with your new loot. Take pictures, that way when you need some outfit ideas you can quickly reference them. I’ve just purchased a great APP for mixing and matching outfits, to help you organize your clothes and make outfits. I’ll work on it this weekend and post about it next week.

3. Keep your closet organized. Sort through your new stuff and put it away with similar items. This will make it easier for you to find stuff when you are in a rush (ie. like me this morning).

4. If something needs to be tailored make sure you bring the shoes you are planning to wear with it, with you. That way it can be tailored perfectly.

5. Most importantly have fun with your new clothes. What’s the point of shopping if you can’t enjoy what you bought.

I hope these three posts on shopping were helpful. If you have any questions/comments, please don’t hesitate to contact me at vodkainfusedlemonade@gmail.com or please leave me a comment below. I am by no means an expert, just a woman trying to make things easier for other women out there.

Happy Thursday Everyone!!! :)

What I know for sure and how to wear your favorite Summer clothes during Fall

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Cardigan and shirt (Gap). Scarf (Old). Leggings (Jacob). Toms (Toms). Watch (Michael Kors). Bracelets (Poshlocket, Poshlocket).

This is what I wore today to drop my son off for his first day of 2.5 hrs of Preschool without Mama. He did amazing. I left while the teacher was reading him a story and he never even looked back. I shed, yet again, a few tears and then realized that I have 2 hrs to myself. I spent that time cleaning the house and running errands, but it was so nice to have some time to myself. His preschool has a webcam, so I did check in, and found that he was doing fine. When I went to pick him up, he was all smiles and having the time of his life playing on the playground. I am emotionally exhausted. Everyday thus far has been something new for him, which required “no parental participation”. I’m relieved that it was more stressful for me than for him. I’m looking forward to enjoying some cocktails this Saturday. This Mama sure needs it.

About a month ago, a friend of mine interviewed me for an on-line mom’s site. It hasn’t come out yet, but I’ll post the article and link once its out. In the article, my friend asked me: “What do I know for sure?” What a thought provoking question!!!! I’ve never thought about what I know for sure. Have you? It’s a short list, let me tell you. Since her interview I realized that I know a few more things for sure. Here they are:

1. I believe in love and in finding your soul mate.

2. Life is too short, so you need to enjoy it ( I need to follow this more!!! :)).

3. Relationships are hard, especially a marriage, and you need to constantly foster it and work at it.

4. Playing with my son and watching him grow is the best thing in the world.

5. I don’t know everything. I’m constantly learning new things. My son is the best teacher.

6. We need more love in this world.

7. We need to let our kids go, to flourish and develop into their own person. I learned this, this week, watching my son participate in activities all by himself.

8. My son’s smile and laugh makes my soul sing. :)

9. Being a parent is the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world.

10. Potty training is a bitch!!!!

11. You can read as many books as you want about parenting, sleep training and potty training, but your child will do it, in their own good time. NO you are not a bad parent if your child isn’t exactly textbook. I learned this the hard way. I read every parenting book, potty training and sleep training book and it was for nothing, because when Aiden was ready to do those things, then he did it. He is stubborn and he does things in his own good time. I had to get over the “I’m a bad mother” because he won’t sleep through the night or isn’t potty trained yet. The books are great guides, but they sure know how to make you feel like crap. So moms and dads out there, read everything with a grain of salt and just do your best!!!! In the end that’s all we can do.

I know that one of my biggest fashion dilemmas come with the change of seasons. I have my favorite clothing items that I have to sadly pack away until the following year. I decided that this year I’m going to keep wearing my favorite Summer pieces during Fall and hopefully Winter. So here are some ways of wearing your favorite summer items during Fall.

I love my jean skirt and how versatile it is. So put on a pair of leggings or tights, add a cardigan, pair it with some boots and you have yourself a Fall outfit.

Cardigan (Jacob). T-Shirt (Gap). Jean Skirt (Gap). Necklace (Etsy). Tights (Jacob). Boots (Browns). Bracelets (Poshlocket, Poshlocket). Watch (Michael Kors).

Another way of wearing a jean skirt is pairing it with a great sweater and ankle boots.

Sweater (Gap). Jean Skirt (Gap). Tights (Jacob). Boots (Fergalicious c/o Sterling). Necklace (Banana Republic). Bracelets (Poshlocket, Poshlocket). Watch (Michael Kors).

My next favorite Summer piece is a red skirt. Put it with a turtleneck and some boots and you are ready to go. After I took the picture, I realized that adding a skinny belt would be a great touch.

Skirt (Gap). Turtleneck (R W & Co.). Tights (Jacob). Boots (Browns).

Add a sweater, jean jacket and ankle booties for a more casual look.

Jean Jacket and Skirt (Gap). Sweater (Old Navy). Necklace (Banana Republic). Bracelets (Poshlocket, Poshlocket). Boots (Fergalicious c/o Sterling).

Take your favorite crop pant, add a sweater, a flat and a jean jacket.

Sweater (Jacob). Crop Pants (Jacob). Flats (Aldo). Jean Jacket (Gap). Necklace (Stella and Dot). Bracelets (Stella and Dot, Stella and Dot).

Add a polka dot sleeveless blouse, white boyfriend blazer and black patent heels and you are ready for a night on the town.

Blouse (Jacob). Jacket (R W and Co). Pants (Jacob). Heels (Aldo).

I “pinned” this next look from Pinterest. Take black shorts, add some tights, ankle booties, white t-shirt and blazer. The first look is what I pinned and underneath is my interpretation.

So I’m not as glamorous looking as the model, but hey did she get up at 6am and run after a 3 yr old all day??? :) So I’m not as glamorous looking as the model, but hey did she get up at 6am and run after a 3 yr old all day???

I also “pinned” this next look from Pinterest. I love my red crop pants and here are a few ways of wearing them during Fall. This first one is inspired by Eva Longoria.

Pants and shirt (Gap). Scarf (old). Flats (Aldo).

I admit I’m no Eva Longoria, but I still think the outfit is cute.

This next look is also with the red crop pant and I’ve paired it with a jean jacket, sweater and white button top.

Jacket and Pant (Gap). White Oxford Shirt (Jacob). Flats (Aldo).

I absolutely love my cropped jeans, so here are a couple different ways of wearing them during Fall.

The first look I “pinned” again from Pinterest.

Sweater (Old Navy). Jeans (R W and Co). White Oxfort Shirt (Jacob). Heels (Aldo). Necklace (Banana Republic).

Add a white tank top, pink boyfriend cardigan, belt and ballet flats.

Cardigan (Gap). Tank Top and Jeans (R W and Co). Belt (Jacob). Flats (Aldo). Necklace (Banana Republic).

May this blog inspire you to figure out what you know for sure and to look in your wardrobe and see what can translate into the Fall. I’m sure you have more then you realize.

Next week I’m hoping to start featuring some of my favorite recipes, some of my cupcake and cake creations and add any deals I come across, whether it be fashion related or food related.

Happy Thursday Everyone!! :)

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