What I’ve Learned This Summer Is That I can’t Have It All and It’s Ok

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I struggled with what to title this post. Should it be “You Can’t Have Everything!!!”, “What I’ve Been Up To”, and then the current title came to mind. Yes it has been a while and it’s been mostly by my choosing. This Summer my son was 5, the last Summer he and I would have together before he starts his school career. It’s also the first one where he and I could completely enjoy (he being more independent).

Before this Summer, when we would go to the park, the pool, the beach or even my backyard, I would have to stick close by him. This Summer everything changed. I felt like he was more independent, more confident, more understanding of rules and consequences. This has been the Summer where we could go to the park and I could relax more, where we would go to the pool and I could enjoy watching him jump off the diving board (with his life jacket on), knowing that he can swim and that he’s comfortable in the water. Although I’m still extremely vigilant, and by his side, I can watch a little more and be a little less hands on. Does that make sense?

So with this found independence for my son, came a little less independence for this mom. I found that we were out more in the pool and beach and less at home, which mean’t less time for me to blog. I just couldn’t justify keeping us both indoors while I spent hours blogging, researching, taking outfit pictures. I wanted us to enjoy the beautiful, warm weather, enjoy our Summer, make memories. So I unconsciously and then consciously made the decision to not kill myself trying to juggle it all, because I just couldn’t!!! I couldn’t blog every day and put in the effort that it required to do good quality posts, while running my household, working (shift work sucks!!!!!!), and trying to enjoy our very short Summer. I didn’t want to plunk my son down in front of the tv while I blogged. I wanted us to enjoy our Summer. I wanted to enjoy being his mom and play with him. Also please keep in mind that my husband and I have no family here to help us. It’s just him and I and my son is also not in daycare, so that means it really is just my husband, me and my son. No help.

There’s 2 things that I have learned in my 35 years of existence and that’s “Never say never” and “You can’t have it all!!!!!”. It’s true, you can’t have it all, no matter how hard you try. You can delude yourself into thinking you can, but you can’t. Somethings gotta give and will give. There’s no such thing are perfection; as a perfect home, perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect child, perfect mother, perfect wife. What does exist is making it right for you. All these superficial magazine articles titled “You can have it all, just read these 5 points” is total bullshit. Something will suffer, someone will suffer, and most likely it will be you, your sanity and your health.

I felt like that was happening to me. I was trying to juggle it all and I felt like I was going crazy. I was frustrated, irritable and exhausted, not enjoying things and I didn’t want that. I wanted to enjoy being a mom and enjoy my son being 5. So I chose to make that my priority. I will always have blogging, but my son will not always be 5. Next Summer will be different. He will be 6 by then with different needs and life will also be different as it’s always changing.

So I hope by writing this post you understand that you can’t have it all, to give yourself permission to make your family and your health a priority. I read many comments and posts this Summer from other fellow mom bloggers about how it’s been hard to juggle everything in the Summer. It’s ok. We all feel the same way.

I am hoping that once my son is in school full time (the teachers are on strike, so I’m hoping that by the time you guys read this on Monday it has resolved), I can dedicate more time to my blog and be back to blogging more regularily. I have so many ideas for my blog and what I would like, but I have to be patient as all good things come to those who wait.

May this blog inspire you to realize that you can’t have it all and to not beat yourself up over it. Do the best you can and that’s all you can really do.

Happy Labour Day Everyone!!!!!

We are headed out to enjoy our last long weekend of freedom and of the Summer.

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31 thoughts on “What I’ve Learned This Summer Is That I can’t Have It All and It’s Ok”

  1. Snoskred

    5 is such a great age. I most loved 4-6 with my nephew, he was so much fun. Now he’s 18 and at Uni.. time flies!

    In case I have not already left a comment before, this is also just a quick note to say hi. I visited your blog during the month of August and I liked what I saw, so I’ve added you to my feedreader and am following your blog. :)

    Cheers!
    Snoskred

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  2. Shannon

    Great post Agi! You’re completely and totally doing the right thing. You’re so right- you’ll always have blogging but your son won’t always be 5. You’re a good mommy with her priorities in line! With all that said, I’ve been missing your posts! lol!
    xoShannon

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  3. Madaline

    I love this - and how TRUE! I am really really tired of people and magazines saying you can have it all - it’s time everyone admit that maybe it’s better to just really focus on a few things? I got a little lucky in August because I was without internet in Sicily - at first I thought I would go insane - but then once I settled into it I got to spend so much time with my daughter and family..

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  4. Kellyann

    I agree with you, trying to be perfect is exhausting and “having it all” is just ridiculous. I settle for wanting what I have and being grateful. It is something I have to practice every single day because our society tries to sell us the notion that we can have it all. I think spending time with your son is the absolute best thing you can do! Listen to your gut instinct, it’s right on!

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  5. aasolheid

    Oh Agi! I could not agree more! I didn’t post today because our family was busy enjoying the last weekend of summer and I just simply wanted to be:) I love blogging but summer is short and when the kids are young and want to spend time with their parents, it’s so important. They grow up so fast. You are wonderful at what you do and I actually respect and admire people more when they are real and put family first:)

    Audrey

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    1. admin Post author

      Thank you so much Audrey. I was a bit worried about this post but it has been so well received, so much love and support. I really appreciate it.

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  6. aaarnold

    You are amazing. Thanks for sharing with us. You totally made the right decision to enjoy your summer with your son. Blogging is amazing and very fun, but it can’t be everything. It sounds to me like you do a great job handling it all. We have to have grace for ourselves.

    xo, Amy Ann
    The Real Arnolds

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  8. Maria

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’m pretty new to the blogging world and my blog is still quite tiny as far as how many readers I have, but I have been beating myself up about how absent I’ve been for the past few weeks. My son just turned one last week and life has been so busy that just like you, I chose to enjoy the here and now instead of blogging about it. I know my blog will never grow if I don’t write consistently, but sometimes its important to take a step back and realize what’s more important. You’re right! Something will always take a hit because life is too busy to juggle everything at 100% all of the time. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone in feeling this way!

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  14. Ginny

    Teachers striking???? Crazy. As for what you wrote today, our blogs should be fun and a hobby, not work. “Real life” is definitely more important.

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    1. admin Post author

      Yup, it’s crazy, but there’s no other way to get this government to listen and even then they aren’t…

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  15. Janise

    This is a great post, Agi. I think it is really difficult to juggle, especially if you don’t have family to help you. For us, we are very lucky that my husband works at night while I work during the day at home. So he watches the boys while I work and vice versa. I blog after the kiddos go to bed and I don’t go to bed till midnight. My outfit pictures are taken either during the weekends or dinner outings down the street from our home. Sometimes it’s in the backyard when the boys are napping. It literally takes 5 minutes to take the pictures and I’m sure you can tell how crappy they are. It was snap snap snap and go. I feel like an energizer bunny that never sleeps but I love the adrenaline of it…that’s my personality.

    There are so many blogs that I’d like to visit but just don’t have time for. I hear your pain and I think we all feel the same. Everyone works differently and blogging should be fun. It is fun if we don’t take it too seriously because not only do we get inspirations from other women that blog we also get the support system…because after all, they are just like us! Have a great week and take it easy!!!

    Oh…and I’m not sure what those magazines’ definition of having it all means but for me “having it all” means you can have it all in different stages in your life; You can experience the world and different cultures in your 20s by traveling, your career in your 30s, your family in your 40s…and your youth and wisdom in your 50s +! So I can’t wait to reach my 50s and beyond!!!

    xo,
    Janise
    http://MamaInHeels.com

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    1. admin Post author

      Thanks so much for your comment Janise. Your pictures are awesome. I feel like mine are always rushed. A friend of mine is going to show me how to use the manual setting on my camera.I honestly can’t wait.

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