I struggled with what to title this post. Should it be “You Can’t Have Everything!!!”, “What I’ve Been Up To”, and then the current title came to mind. Yes it has been a while and it’s been mostly by my choosing. This Summer my son was 5, the last Summer he and I would have together before he starts his school career. It’s also the first one where he and I could completely enjoy (he being more independent).
Before this Summer, when we would go to the park, the pool, the beach or even my backyard, I would have to stick close by him. This Summer everything changed. I felt like he was more independent, more confident, more understanding of rules and consequences. This has been the Summer where we could go to the park and I could relax more, where we would go to the pool and I could enjoy watching him jump off the diving board (with his life jacket on), knowing that he can swim and that he’s comfortable in the water. Although I’m still extremely vigilant, and by his side, I can watch a little more and be a little less hands on. Does that make sense?
So with this found independence for my son, came a little less independence for this mom. I found that we were out more in the pool and beach and less at home, which mean’t less time for me to blog. I just couldn’t justify keeping us both indoors while I spent hours blogging, researching, taking outfit pictures. I wanted us to enjoy the beautiful, warm weather, enjoy our Summer, make memories. So I unconsciously and then consciously made the decision to not kill myself trying to juggle it all, because I just couldn’t!!! I couldn’t blog every day and put in the effort that it required to do good quality posts, while running my household, working (shift work sucks!!!!!!), and trying to enjoy our very short Summer. I didn’t want to plunk my son down in front of the tv while I blogged. I wanted us to enjoy our Summer. I wanted to enjoy being his mom and play with him. Also please keep in mind that my husband and I have no family here to help us. It’s just him and I and my son is also not in daycare, so that means it really is just my husband, me and my son. No help.
There’s 2 things that I have learned in my 35 years of existence and that’s “Never say never” and “You can’t have it all!!!!!”. It’s true, you can’t have it all, no matter how hard you try. You can delude yourself into thinking you can, but you can’t. Somethings gotta give and will give. There’s no such thing are perfection; as a perfect home, perfect life, perfect marriage, perfect child, perfect mother, perfect wife. What does exist is making it right for you. All these superficial magazine articles titled “You can have it all, just read these 5 points” is total bullshit. Something will suffer, someone will suffer, and most likely it will be you, your sanity and your health.
I felt like that was happening to me. I was trying to juggle it all and I felt like I was going crazy. I was frustrated, irritable and exhausted, not enjoying things and I didn’t want that. I wanted to enjoy being a mom and enjoy my son being 5. So I chose to make that my priority. I will always have blogging, but my son will not always be 5. Next Summer will be different. He will be 6 by then with different needs and life will also be different as it’s always changing.
So I hope by writing this post you understand that you can’t have it all, to give yourself permission to make your family and your health a priority. I read many comments and posts this Summer from other fellow mom bloggers about how it’s been hard to juggle everything in the Summer. It’s ok. We all feel the same way.
I am hoping that once my son is in school full time (the teachers are on strike, so I’m hoping that by the time you guys read this on Monday it has resolved), I can dedicate more time to my blog and be back to blogging more regularily. I have so many ideas for my blog and what I would like, but I have to be patient as all good things come to those who wait.
May this blog inspire you to realize that you can’t have it all and to not beat yourself up over it. Do the best you can and that’s all you can really do.
Happy Labour Day Everyone!!!!!
We are headed out to enjoy our last long weekend of freedom and of the Summer.