Tag Archives: women

Moms, Let’s Stop The Hate Speech & Negative Behaviour!!!

I wrote a post last October called “Moms vs. Moms: Why can’t we just all play nicely together?!?!?” In it I discuss how women, especially moms are beyond mean to one another; how we take our own insecurities and put them onto another mother. I’m honestly tired of it!!!! I had an incident happen a while ago, where someone I knew totally blew a situation completely out of proportion. The reaction was not appropriate for what had happened. Another friend of mine pointed out that it has nothing to do with me, but all to do with that person. Well can I just say that I’m tired of that!!! We all have shit in our lives, all of us!!!!!! That doesn’t give anyone the right to treat the other person disrespectfully. As women, especially mothers, do we have to take our own insecurities and issues out on another person and treat them like garbage? It’s not the other person’s fault that you feel the way you do about your life. This is a great quote that I try and remember whenever someone is mean or hurtful:

Here’s the thing, the reason why I’m rehashing this topic is that I recently read a blog post: “10 Types of Moms That Suck“. I was enraged after reading this. The person, being a mother herself, should not be perpetuating this kind of childish, spiteful, hateful behaviour!!!!! What are we teaching our children?!?!?!??! That if someone is prettier than you, or smarter than you, or dresses better than you, or is more conscientious about what they feed their kid more than you, or is happier than you, that gives you the right to treat them like shit or write a post like this. THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH WOMEN!!!!!!! Why must we always tear the other person down to make ourselves feel better??? Why??? I’m so sick and tired of it!!! Let’s get one thing straight, the grass is not always greener on the other side, that what you see on the outside may not be what’s going on in the inside and who cares if that person dresses better than you, or feeds their kids Kale, or chooses to use hand sanitizer? It’s none of your business or your concern!!!!

I recently read a funny saying/cartoon on Facebook that said “If women ran the world, there wouldn’t be wars, we just wouldn’t talk to one another!!” Isn’t that the truth!!!!! What really hurts me regarding this post was when the author wrote this: “The ‘Always Super Chipper and Well Dressed,” Mom. I hate you. No really, I just… hate you. I’m 100% sure you sold your soul to Satan, or maybe Martha Stewart. Nope, don’t even speak to me, I feel more disgusting and unworthy the closer you get. I’m not even sure these Yoga pants are clean, I may have worn them to the gym yesterday, who even knows anymore?” So how are you justified in writing this? How does a person who is well dressed affect you? They made the choice in the morning to get dressed in something other than yoga pants and you made the choice to dress in yoga pants. You both made a choice. They aren’t holding it against you that you chose to wear yoga pants, so please stop holding it against them.

Yes I’m pissed off because I’m sick and tired of women tearing each other down and not supporting one another. You should see the hateful speech I read on a mother’s forum last week regarding Vaccinations. It was awful. I mean down right hurtful and malicious. Honestly women, we need to start getting our heads of out of asses and start standing up for one another instead of tearing each other down.

I didn’t include the name of the author of that blog because I don’t want to out her or start something. The point of me writing this is so that we can stop this hateful speech against one another. What are we teaching our children? We need to be better role models than that!!! Shame on us!!! So let’s stop writing posts about why the other mom is making you feel insecure and let’s start writing posts about supporting one another, even if we don’t practice what the other person does. I have to admit that yes some of her points the other made were valid and funny, but I don’t like the tone in which this article was written.

At the end of the day we are all just trying to do our best. What my best is may not mesh with yours and vice versa. But who cares!!! If we stopped judging one another, we may even learn a thing or two from each other. Being a mother is the hardest job ever, so why are we making it harder?? Let’s band together and help one another. If we see another mom struggling we should support her, instead of standing there judging. None of us are perfect mothers and women, we all could do things a bit better.

May this blog help us to stop judging one another, to stop writing hateful and childish posts and to stop treating other women badly for our insecurities. Let’s start leading our children by example. Let’s teach them that it’s ok to be different and that we support other people and help them. Let’s teach them to perpetuate love, not hate.

What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them.

This song, originally from the Beatles, from the Love Actually soundtrack, is very apropos to this post:

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Happy Friday and Weekend Everyone!!!!!

30 yr old Teenagers and shirts that make you feel pretty!!!!

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Happy Tuesday everyone!!! I decided to start this blog out with what I wore yesterday. Although the weather called for sun, it took all day for it to finally appear. So I brightened up my dreary day with a red scarf (Old Navy). The jean jacket and t-shirt (Gap). Linen pants(R W and Co). Ballet flats (Aldo).

Onto the first part of the title: 30 year old Teenagers. A few weeks ago, my husband and I were at a friend’s son’s birthday party. The adults were having a discussion about how difficult it is to make new friends as we get older. I asked the ladies if they felt it was harder for them to make friends vs. the men? They all answered yes and I added that its harder for women because women are much “cattier” than men are. The women totally agreed with me. I found this to be especially true for me; it was extremely hard to make new friends when I first moved here to BC. I felt and still do that those people who grew up here had their “cliques” and weren’t interested. If you didn’t fit into their “cliques”, you weren’t welcome.

So where does the title 30 yr old Teenager come from? It comes from my experience a few years back when I had my son. I tried to make new acquaintances with some moms and found it very difficult. Those moms already knew each other and I was the “new” mom. I felt like an outsider and no matter what I did I felt like I never belonged. Eventually I just gave up trying and decided to continue friendships with those moms who actually cared and showed an interest in me, and establishing a friendship.

Why is it that when women feel threatened they revert back to being teenagers? And why do women feel threatened by other women? I swear we are 30-40 year old women behaving like we’re 13 year old teenage girls again. Why must women do that? I was at a 2 year old little girl’s birthday party last year and decided to wear a pair of trouser jeans, a tank top, a cardigan and then belted the cardigan. One of the moms at the party eyed me up and down and gave me the nastiest look. I thought to myself, have I done something to offend you? Does my cardigan offend you? Does the fact that I belted my cardigan offend you? Its so funny because after we left I told my husband what had happened and he commented that he too felt the same way and that it was like keeping up with the Jones’ in there. It honestly felt like an episode of the “Housewives”. Needless to say we never returned. I naively thought that the older we got, the easier it would be to make friends and that the cattiness, and teenage-like behavior would be long gone. But I guess I was sorely mistaken.

It is nice to hear that I am not alone in feeling this way. I have spoken with a few of my women friends and they too say that they have had similar experiences. Since my encounter with those women (to clarify it wasn’t just one incident, it was many, many instances where they made me feel like I didn’t belong), I decided that I am too old to put up with this kind of bullshit!! I don’t need people like that in my life. If how I dress, or speak, or the way I am offends you then I’m very sorry but I this is who I am, like it or leave it!!!! I don’t need to be reminded of what it was like to be a 14 year old girl bullied and made fun of. I’ve been there and I hope never to return, nor do I need to feel like I’m apart of a “Housewives” episode.

For my 33rd birthday I decided to go out to dinner with some friends and I did something different: I invited only those women that I truly cared about and that I knew felt the same way about me. What a difference it made!!! Everyone got along so well and I never once worried about saying the wrong thing, or wearing the wrong outfit, or worried about being myself. I could be my true self with these women and it felt great.

To any women out there who either feels this way or has felt this way, don’t worry about it, you are not alone. Those women are not worth your time or energy. At the end of the day I feel sorry for them, that they need to behave this way to make themselves feel better. They are the ones who are missing out on an amazing person and friendship.

Now onto a lighter topic: shirts that make you feel pretty. I am a huge fan of TLC’s show “What not to wear”. In the past few episodes I have noticed that Stacy and Clinton have asked the women whether their current wardrobe makes them feel pretty? All of the women responded no. It got me thinking that whenever I am planning out my outfits for the week, I think about what makes me feel pretty. Below are 2 shirts that make me feel very pretty. I like them because they are not black, because they drape beautifully around your waist, and because they are versatile. Below are pictures of 2 shirts that I love and 2 different ways to wear them.

The first one is a brown shirt (R W & Co.) shown how to wear it on two separate occasions.

I wore this outfit out with my son for a playdate on Friday.

The top (R W & Co.). Necklace (Stella & Dot). Watch (Michael Kors). Jeans (R W & Co.). Shoes (Steve Madden).

The next picture shows the same brown top dressed up. I would wear this out for a date with my husband.

Necklace (Banana Republic). Watch (Michael Kors). Bracelet (Stella & Dot). Jeans (R W & Co.) Booties (Aldo).

The next top is a purple top from Mexx. I wore this outfit this past Saturday to a girl’s night.

Top (Mexx). Necklace (Banana Republic), Watch (Michael Kors). Bracelet (Stella and Dot). Pants (Gap). Flower sandals (Steve Madden).

The last outfit is also an outfit that I would wear going out with my husband.

Top (Mexx). Necklace (Stella & Dot). Bracelet (Stella & Dot). Watch (Guess). Jeans (R W and Co.). Shoes (Aldo).

May this blog inspire you to surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and bring out the best in you and to inspire you to find a shirt that makes you feel pretty, because everyone deserves to feel pretty

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!!

Couponing 101 and Stripes

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Before I get to “Couponing 101″, I wanted to post two pictures of myself demonstrating how to add some color to your outfit.

Red cardigan, with blue watch and pink nails

This is the outfit I wore today. Red cardigan (Jacob), hat (Ariztia), shorts (Reitmans), white tank top (R W & Co.), gladiator sandals (Aldo), bracelet, earrings and necklace (Stella & Dot), and watch (Coach). You can see how I added color with my cardigan, watch and my pink nails.

This is the outfit I wore yesterday. Red cropped pants and jean jacket (Gap), sweater (Jacob), ballet flats (Aldo) and necklace and earrings (Stella & Dot). Yes I know that in both I used something red to add color to my outfit, but what can I say? I like red!!!

Now onto “Couponing 101″. Let me start by saying that I am not some crazy “extreme” couponer like the ones from TLC’s show. I do not spend hours clipping coupons or have a warehouse full of stuff I don’t need, but got for free. I am a normal (ok that’s debatable if you ask my friends and husband :)) person, who when her husband lost his job 6 months ago, wanted to find ways to help save money. With some help from friends, who are quite proficient in the couponing world, I was able to purchase everyday items at a fraction of the cost. So here are some of my tips to help Canadian families out.

1. Check out the following site: Healthy Shopper. It is a great site for natural products that can be found here in Canada. The great bonus is that the coupons have long expiry dates, so you can use them many times. By printing off a coupon from this site, I was able to purchase 7th Generation laundry detergent (which normally costs $9.99 for 1.5 L) for $2. I had a $3 coupon from the Healthy Shopper site, then I waited until my grocery store had a 2 for 1 special. Instead of spending $10 on one, I was able to purchase 5 for the price of one. This did not take any extra time and saved me tons of money.

2. Check out other Canadian sites: Brandsaver.ca, Save.ca, Go Coupons, Websaver, Simply Frugal and Samples-4-free.com. There are many other Canadian sites out there, these are just some of the many.

3. Look at your weekly flyer’s from your local grocery stores, Walmart and London Drugs. They have great deals and you can combine them with coupons. I try and base my weekly grocery list on items that are on sale.

4. Know the price of things. Know when its a good deal.

5. Don’t buy when you need to, wait until its on sale. You can always freeze things (I do that and i don’t even have a deep freezer) or store them.

6. FYI you can freeze cheese. Cheese is quite expensive so when its on sale I usually will buy 3 or 4 bricks. They also keep quite well in your fridge. They have long expiry dates.

7. Sign up on websites like Deal Find, Groupon or Swarmjam. I just got a great deal on carpet cleaning for $44 for 4 rooms plus the hallway. Always check the fine print before buying.

8. Sign up for e-mails from your favorite stores: Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic, Jacob, R W & Co,Stella & Dot, Children’s Place, Gymboree, Aldo, Sephora, Chapters and Michael’sjust to name a few. These stores ship to Canada without having to pay duty. Shipping is usually free if you spend above a certain amount. Most of the stores are reasonable, anywhere from $25-$100. They will e-mail you when things go on sale and when they offer free shipping. Michael’s usually has 40% off coupons on their website or in their flyer and if you subscribe to them you usually get extra coupons.

9. For your birthday stores like The Body Shop (if you have their card) will give you $10 off your purchase. If you register your Starbucks card you get a free drink on your birthday. R W & Co. give you 25 % your total purchases including sale items 3 days before and after your birthday. With your Sephora beauty insider card you get a free gift when its your birthday.

10. Get an Airmiles card. They send you e-mails informing of extra points that can be earned and stores that have discounts. You can also purchase items from their on line catalogue. That’s how we got a brand new kitchen aid blender and shipping was free.

11. Costco is not always the cheapest place to get things, but with that said it pays to get an Executive card, you get 2% back on your purchases, which usually pays for itself. Its also the cheapest place to get your pictures printed and they also have current best seller books for much less than at your local bookstore.

12. Its cheaper to purchase books on line at Chapter’s then it is in the store and shipping is free after you spend $25.

13. Another thing you could consider is getting a US mailing address and having things shipped there. Its much cheaper and then you don’t have to worry about duties and shipping costs to Canada. I have yet to do this.

14. Borrow books from the Library or from your friends.

15. Host a party like Stella & Dot, Norwex, Tupperware, Usborne or a Candle Party. The hostess usually gets free items which is a great way to get things you need.

16. Buy things at the end of the season, especially kids stuff. Its usually much cheaper and then you don’t have to worry about it next year.

17. Be aware of where you money is going.

18. Call your local gas, cable, internet, cell phone, mortgage provider and see if there are ways to cut down on your bills. We called our local cable company a few years back and we cut our bill by $30/month. It never hurts to ask. The worst they can say is no.

19. Just because its on sale doesn’t mean you have to buy it. Only by things that are on sale or with coupons if you need them, otherwise its a waste of money!!!!

I hope this helps. For some of you, this may be nothing new, but if you were like me, every little bit of money saving tips helps.

Like I said in my last post, I like to end each post with some fashion. Today’s fashion tip comes from my obsession with stripes. Some of you may be thinking that you can’t wear stripes, but I’m here to tell all you big busted ladies out there, yes you can. You just need to find the right type and thickness of stripes. You can find stripes in anything like tank tops, t-shirts, sweaters, cardigans and scarves. I absolutely love stripes and have them in many colors and styles. Below is a picture of my striped t-shirts, cardigan, tank top, and sweaters collection.