Category Archives: motherhood

Moms Vs. Moms: Why Can’t We Just All Play Nicely Together!!!!

Why can’t we women just be nice to one another?? Why is it that we must be catty, hurtful, spiteful and vengeful towards one another?? Why can’t we all just get along???? This picture is a perfect example of women. We are constantly at each other’s throats, judging the other person and gossiping about another woman. Why can’t we just play nicely with each other??

We teach our children, from a young age, to be nice to one another, so why can’t we moms practice what we preach??? We aren’t nice to one another. We’re all guilty of judging another women the minute they walk into the room. We give them the once over look (and you know what look I’m talking about) and make them feel like shit. We’re all guilty of that, including myself!!!! Am I proud of that? NO!!!!!! I’m not and for a while now I’ve made a conscious effort to not do it.

I had this happen to me a few years ago at a child’s birthday party. One of the moms attending the party gave me the worst up and down stare I’ve ever had. I felt awful afterwards. Not sure what her problem was, was it the cardigan and belt that I wore that offended her? I’m not sure.

Here’s the truth, it had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with her. She was self-conscious and took it out on me. This is our problem Moms and Women!!!!!!!! We make it out to be about the other person when in fact it has nothing to do with them. It’s all about us and how insecure we feel about ourselves!!!!

Why do we have to make another mom feel crappy about herself because she took the time to dress up or that she packed a certain lunch for her kid or that she took the time and effort to make cute cupcakes for her kid’s classmates!!!!! Why???? Do we really feel better about ourselves after we treat another woman like shit??? I don’t think so!!!!!!!!

Take men for example. There’s no bickering like this. If another guy is wearing something they like they say “hey man, like your vest, where’d you get it?” If even that. They don’t sit there eyeing the other guy, giving him the evil eye, because he had the audacity to dress up. No, they just sit around and drink beers and shoot the shit about sports. They don’t harbour any resentment towards the other guy for dressing a certain way or for doing something better than them.

We women need to stop this awful, childish behaviour. Like I said before, WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF THIS BEHAVIOR!!!!! At one point in our lives we’ve all done this and I’m ashamed.

This could not have come out at a better time. This woman posted this picture on her Facebook page to remind us all that we are busy and full of excuses why not to exercise and the backlash against this poor woman has been insane. People are saying that she is a bad mother, neglecting her kids, “fat bashing”. Honestly the only people saying this are those that are unhappy with themselves and their bodies. They are insecure about the way they look and feel the need to lash out at this mom. This woman was not “fat bashing”, she was merely trying to make a point that we all have our excuses for not exercising but we need to start making it a priority.

I don’t know this woman and I don’t want to speak for her, but here’s the message I got out of this: she is teaching her kids that she values herself enough to take good care of herself; that she wants to be around to live a healthy life for herself and for her kids; she is teaching her kids about health and nutrition. So please all you insecure people that are ripping this poor woman a new hole, get off your fucking pedestals and stop attacking her!!!! Start looking at your own life and stop judging someone else. You’re not going to change the way you feel about yourself by attacking someone else. All this woman was trying to do was shed some light on the fact that we are all busy and have a myriad of excuses for not exercising. We all need to make a conscious effort to get healthy.

The DJ’s on the radio the other day were debating this and one of them said it was “fat bashing” and the other one said that we are all guilty of this. She raised a great question “none of us spend any time in front of the tv!!!!!!”. We all do and that was the point, this woman is not neglecting her kids as she works out 1 hr a day and her husband looks after them. She is making a choice to take care of herself instead of sitting in front of the tv, which we are all guilty of.

My good friend is a fitness trainer and she looks amazing. Do I judge her for looking the way she does? No. I’m proud of her and I also know that I will never look like her, but that’s ok. Her goal is to get people to be healthier and that is also the goal of Maria’s.

We all make the choice to eat that donut and to not exercise. No one forces us to eat unhealthy, it’s our choice and we should stop slamming other women for their choice to be healthy. I love my friend Jenny and am proud of how healthy and amazing she looks. She is my inspiration. We should look at Maria for inspiration, not to look like her, but to be the healthiest we can be.

So please let’s all stop this insane business of bashing one another, beating the other person down all because of our own insecurities. Good for this woman for taking care of herself. Good for that mom who dresses nicely. Good for that mom who takes the time to make cupcakes for her kids class. Good for that mom who makes her baby’s baby food from scratch. This is not a competition ladies, so let’s stop perpetuating this. We should be empowering one another, not breaking each other down!!!!!

I vow to stop this right now. All it takes is for us, women, to take a stand and say no more!!!!! I will not tolerate this anymore and nor should the rest of us. Let’s stop bullying one another and making each other feel like shit because of how we feel about ourselves. Let’s start building one another up to be the best moms, women, wives, people we can be!!!!

I know that I focus this blog on fashion, but when you look at the core of it, it’s not about designer brands or dressing like a movie star, it’s about being the best person you can be, it’s about feeling good about yourself, about dressing so that you feel pretty.

Yes I’m mad, because I thought all this childish behaviour was long done and buried, but I realized not that long ago, wrote a post about it here, that we women behave like a bunch of 30-40 year old teenagers!!!!!

May this blog inspire us all to stop judging one another and start behaving the way we want our children to behave!!!!

Good for Maria for having the courage to post this picture and for taking the time to stay healthy for herself and for her children. Let’s all stand together and support Maria and not tear her down!!!!!!

Happy Friday and Weekend!!!!!!

Autism: Tapping Into Every Child’s Potential

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I read the most amazing book, “The Spark” by Kristine Barnett. My husband and I were in a little bookstore in Penticton and the title caught my eye. I read the first page and was hooked!!!!! I basically read the introduction within minutes and told my husband that I was going home with this book. Even though my son is not Autistic I felt like Kristine wrote this book for every mother and father. The book resonated with me for two reasons:

1. In her dedication, Kristine writes “For Michael, who makes the impossible possible every day And for everyone who’s ever been told they can’t”.

2. Kristine ends her introduction by saying “But for me, more than anything it is about the power of hope and the dazzling possibilities that can occur when we keep our minds open and learn how to tap the true potential that lies within every child”.

After reading this, I had tears in my eyes. As a child, I always felt like I had to do things for my mom, because it would make her happy. I felt like instead of listening to what I wanted to do, I had to do things in order to appease her. When I had my son, I made a promise to myself that I would not force my son to do things in order to make me happy; that I would listen to what he is telling me. A great example is that we realized quickly that Aiden had not only a huge interest in dancing, thanks to Angelina Ballerina, but that he had a natural aptitude. The thought never crossed my mind that my son would be interested in dance but he totally is. My husband and I listened and watched and last year we put him into dance. He absolutely loved it!!!!!! We listened to him and what he was telling us and instead of forcing him into something he didn’t want to do we followed his lead. I know too many kids who are forced into things that they didn’t want to do because their parents want it. Rather then looking at what your child is good at, the parents don’t care, the child has to do what they want them to do. It ends up being about the parent instead of being about the child!!!!

One of Kristine’s main points in this book is for parents to foster what their kids are good at. She shares a story about when Jacob first goes to school after his diagnosis and how the therapists are focusing on all the things Jacob can’t do, therefore not only does Jacob not respond well to the therapy, he doesn’t respond at all. Kristine explains that if people around us only focused on what we couldn’t do, we wouldn’t want to do anything either. She realized that if for part of the time she did what he wanted to do, she was able to do some therapy with him and make some progress. Focusing on the positive allowed Kristine and Jacob to work on the things he needed to work on.

Kristine runs a daycare and she always fostered and focused on what the kids were good at. A little boy got frustrated playing blocks and Kristine realized that he was frustrated because he didn’t have enough. She filled her car with as many blocks as she could find and the boy built an amazing structure. Today that boy is studying at a world renowned school for architecture. Kristine didn’t have to listen to that child, she could have just passed his behaviour off as a tantrum, instead she really listened to the boy and realized he was frustrated. How many times do we get frustrated??? We have to give our kids the benefit of the doubt and enable them rather then label them and forget about them.

This is a beautiful story about a mother who never gave up on her child; who helped her son overcome insane obstacles to now be known to have an IQ higher than Einstein’s. And this is the boy they said would never learn to tie his shoes or the boy who was told not to bring his alphabet cards to school because he would never learn his alphabet let alone learn to speak. I hope those people read Kristine’s book and changed their way of behaving and treating Autistic children. If we always approach children with what they can’t do, what hope do we give them??? Kids can sense what we are feeling and feed off of our energy, so if we aren’t optimistic how can we expect them or their parents to be?

Jacob’s story will melt your heart and make you cry. You can see every child in Jacob. Every child has obstacles they have to overcome and it’s our jobs as parents to help them overcome them. Kristine went with her gut, defied conventional treatment and fought for Jacob.

This is a book that should be in every syllabus in College for anyone taking any courses that involve working with children, should be a must read for every one that has kids or who has ever taken care of kids. Our jobs as parents and teachers is to foster the potential in every child.

I want to leave you with a quote from Kristine: “If a child who was never supposed to talk or read can rise to such improbable heights, imagine what children without such challenges might achieve, and how far they might soar if we encouraged them to unfurl their wings- past any horizon, past even our wildest expectations. By sharing our story, I hope that will happen”.

Thank you Kristine for your honest, thoughtful story about you and your families journey. Thank you for also giving hope to thousands of mothers out there struggling with children that are Autistic.

For more about Jacob’s story, click here.

May this blog inspire you to read “The Spark” by Kristine Barnett and to foster the children in your life to achieve anything they want.

Happy Friday & Weekend Everyone!!!!!!

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Who Am I?

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I’ve written about battling a bit of postpartum depression after my son was born and now I find myself wondering who I am????? Feeling lost is what I should be doing, what my purpose should be. All my life I’ve always been working towards something: in high school to graduate, in university to figure out what I want to be (7 years of university later, I became a Nurse), then I moved to Vancouver and got married, then worked on my career and then I had my son. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been working towards something, never stopping to think “Who Am I?”

I can see how people have a mid life crisis. I don’t think a mid life crisis is so much about buying a Porche and doing crazy things, but more about realizing you don’t know who you are and trying to figure it out. You spend your whole entire life going from one phase of life to the next, meeting life’s milestones and not stopping to figure out who you are. Then one day you wake up and realize you don’t know who you are?

That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling for years now; pretty much since having my son. Oprah talks about finding your “life’s purpose”. When I had my son, that was my purpose, to look after him and raise him to be the best person he can be. Although that is still one of my purposes, I’ve fallen into the rut of becoming a glorified cook, maid and chauffeur. Somewhere along the road I lost myself, maybe I’ve never even known myself.

If you asked me to define myself, I would say that I’m a …

mother
daughter
wife
sister
Registered Nurse
Friend
Human
Woman

But who am I really? Who are we all really? It really started bothering me that day in and day out I do the same things. I feel lost, tired and overwhelmed. Last Thursday a good friend and I went to see Oprah’s newest movie, The Butler, and we had a good discussion over appetizers and drinks. When I mentioned how lonely, tired and confused I felt, she totally understood. When I said that somedays I just felt like a glorified housewife, she could totally empathize. It made me feel good knowing that I’m not alone in feeling this way.

So now what do I do? Part of this is my fault. I let myself get lost in the shuffle, in the rat race we call life and now I’m struggling to get myself back. I spoke to my doctor and she was amazing. She told me that how I feel is completely normal and that I need to start doing things to take care of myself and get myself back.

When I was in Nursing School, a fellow classmate of mine (who had teenage kids at the time), talked about how she almost lost her mind between the chaos of life, looking after her kids, studying for school and trying to keep her marriage alive. She stated that she had to stop everything and take a step back and start taking care of herself. She said that once she started to look after herself, she was able to look after her family; that she was a better mother, wife, friend and person.

I’ve said it many times that we need to first take care of ourselves but that can be really hard, especially if you’re like us with no family to help. It’s just my husband and I and if we want to go out, we have to hire a babysitter. I would give anything to be able to just go out for coffee or have the weekend to ourselves without having to plan it months ahead and depend on my mother in law to come down to watch our son. Have I practiced what I preached? Not really. Sure I go to bootcamp and go to my book club but that hasn’t been enough. I’ve been feeling a void for so long, I’ve been overwhelmed for as long as I can remember. But Fall is a time for a new start, a new school year for kids and for me a time to rediscover who I am.

My goal in the next few months is to figure out who I am and to get myself into a better head space. I’m hoping to achieve this by continuing with bootcamp, going back to Yoga (it really helps keep me centered), going out with girlfriend’s more and spending more time with my husband. I also need to eat healthier, like not running out the door in the morning without eating breakfast. I’ve also got a weekend planned just for me where I’m headed downtown by myself overnight. All I want to do is a bunch of nothing, visit stores that I never get to go to, eat at my favourite bakery, have my favourite tea, window shop, soak in a bath tub, sleep in, read and relax. The goal is to tune out all the distractions and just focus on me.

This is a good start. I’m not 100% sure how this is all going to work but it’s a good start. I’ve heard many people, including Oprah, say all you have to do is put it out into the universe and the universe will take care of you. Well universe, I’m putting it out there. I’m on a journey to find myself and to help centre myself.

How do you guys feel? How do you find peace and focus in your life? Have you found yourself and your purpose?

I wrote this post because I know that I’m not the only mom, woman, person out there who feels this way and I want others to know that it’s ok to feel this way. I also want my readers to know that life is never perfect. You may read something on a blog and it all may appear to be perfect, but it never is. There is no such thing as perfect. I didn’t write this to feel sorry for myself, I wrote this to help clarify some things for myself and to help others out there who may feel the same way.

May this blog help you discover who you are and for you to realize that you’re not alone in wondering who you are.

Happy Friday and Weekend Everyone!!!!

Transitioning Shorts to Fall & Back To School: How to make it easier for both moms and kids?

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A great way to transition your favourite pair of shorts into Fall is to add a sweater and a button top. It’s one of my favourite looks for Fall and Winter. I like this combination because it keeps you warm allowing you to still wear shorts. On Monday I wore my jean shorts with a pink sweater layered over a fitted boyfriend shirt.

Shorts (Reitmans). Sweater (J Crew). Button Shirt (Gap). Shoes (Steve Madden). Purse (J Crew). Bracelet (Gigglosophy). Watch (Michael Kors).

Back to school for most of us starts in just over a week and I thought I would share how to make mornings easier for both moms and kids. We all could use a little help. I’ll take anything I can get to make things easier :).

1. Pack lunches the night before. My son is still in preschool, so I don’t have to pack lunches yet, but next year will be a different story. Since I like to pack many different things for my son for snacks when we go out, next year I’m planning on buying a Bento box for my son. A bento box allows you to pack many different foods in small plastic containers that all fit nicely together into one bigger container. It’s good for the environment, makes packing lunches easier and helps decrease the cost of buying those plastic sandwich bags. A great site for ideas for packing lunches is Easy Lunch Boxes. They’ve got tons of different lunch ideas. Below I’ve posted different examples of Bento boxes. Prices range from $16.54-$29.97.

Bento Boxes

Amazon/ Fenigo/ Fenigo/ Chapters

Get your kids to help, even if they’re little. Get them used to helping with their own lunches and maybe that will help them eat their lunches at school. If they can pack what they like (within reason), they may be more inclined to eat it. It also makes it easier for you as well, packing it at night, to not be so rushed in the morning.

2. Pack their backpacks the night before. Packing their backpacks the night before will hopefully prevent instances where you are scrambling in the morning to find your child’s book or notebook. Get them to help. It teaches them to be responsible for their own things as well as a bit of organization.

3. Keep each child organized with their own calendar/white board and back pack hook. I saw this on Pinterest a while ago and thought it would be a great idea for those parents who have more than one kid. I know that with even with one kid how busy our Family calendar is.

4. Organize your kids clothes in everyday of the week slots. I saw this on a few different blogs and on Pinterest and the idea is to organize your kids clothes the week before for that following week. Each outfit is placed in according days of the week. It teaches your child the days of the week giving them a bit more autonomy and allowing you the chance to get dressed yourself.

5. Set kids clocks 5 mins ahead and wake them up 10 mins before they need to be up. By setting their alarm clocks 5 mins ahead (don’t tell them), it hopefully ensures that you get out of the house on time. Also waking them up 10 mins before they need to be up hopefully again ensures that you’re out the door on time.

6. Wake up 30-60 mins before the rest of your Family. This gives you a chance to enjoy your cup of coffee before the morning chaos begins. It also gives you a chance to mentally prepare for the day ahead. (I need to do this!!!!!)

7. Get yourself a big Mom’s Calendar. I purchased one just after my son was born and I’ve bought one every year since then. They are fabulous. They are big, allowing lots of room to write in activities, they also come with stickers. I love them and I can’t live without mine. It keeps me organized and keeps my husband informed as to what and when we have appointments and activities. Costco has a few great ones to choose from. Below is what our family calendar for September looks like.

8. Get your kids to shower/bath the night before. Again anything to make things easier in the morning for everyone.

9. Set out your outfit the night before. I know this sounds anal but it works, that way in the morning you’re not scrambling to find an outfit. You’re also not looking in your closet like I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!!!” and your bedroom ends up looking like a tornado went through it.

10. Get your kids to help!!!!!! Even if your kids are little, it’s never too early to start getting them to help. I know that it’s easier when you do it and faster but it’s a great way to get them used to doing things for themselves.

There you have it everyone, my top 10 ways to make back to school easier for both mom and kids.

May this blog inspire you to look at ways you can make mornings easier for you and your family and to find a way to transition your favourite shorts to Fall.

Don’t forget to link up this Thursday for my weekly Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday Link Up. I’ve got a great announcement regarding the link up, so definitely stop by .

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Happy Wednesday Everyone!!!!!!

a new normal

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As Fall fast approaches, so does back to school and establishing a new routine. I am very much a Type A person and I like to be organized; hence why my calendar is colour coated with each activity highlighted in a different colour. It keeps me organized and my husband knows exactly what’s going on every day. Not sure what I’m going to do when we have another child. I might need to get 2 calendars. This is what our family calendar looks like:

Last month my husband and I made 2 very important decisions: he to work from home for himself and me going back to work part time. It made sense, we needed the benefits and the money. With me going back to work part time, we now get benefits, and I have a more regular schedule with regular paycheques coming in. Here is where the new normal comes in. We both had to get used to him working from home, my husband being around all day, while Aiden and I continued to do our normal routine. And we had to get used to me working part time, including nights. Thankfully Aiden has adjusted better than either of us expected and I’m adjusting slowly to working nights.

Life is constantly changing and I especially noticed that when we had my son. It took us a few months to get used to having a new baby and establishing a new routine. Then just when I got used to our routine, Aiden changed things up and has continued to do that ever since. Being Type A, I learned that I had to let go of certain things and to not be so anal about housekeeping, for instance. Now that he is 4, things have gotten a little easier, but I find that every Fall and Summer we need to find a new routine.

Structure is super important for both Aiden and me. Every parenting book states how important structure is and I couldn’t agree more. We both know what to expect and it makes things easier for both of us. Since Aiden was little I would explain to him what were about to do (even before he was verbal) but he understood and it helped prepare him for what we were about to do. With back to school in 2 weeks, I am looking forward to getting back to a good routine for both of our sack. I tried to develop somewhat of a routine this Summer and it was working well until we went away on our roadtrip and then camping. With the last 2 weeks of vacation we are back to swimming lessons giving us some routine and much needed structure.

The most important thing I’ve learned about being a parent is that you are constantly establishing a new normal. You have to be patient with adjusting to change, which I am slowly learning to do. Even if you’re not a parent, life is constantly changing and evolving and it really is about establishing a new normal.

What do you guys think? Is structure and routine important to you? Did you find that being a parent involved constantly changing and establishing a new routine? Love to hear your thoughts.

May this blog inspire you to realize that we are constantly trying to establish a new normal.

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Don’t forget to link up every Thursday for my weekly Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday Link Up.

Happy Friday Everyone!!!!!! Hope you all enjoy one of the last few weekends before school starts.

Six Words Every Child Should Hear

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I recently read a blog about six beautiful, empowering words that every child should hear. They are: I LOVE TO WATCH YOU PLAY!!!! At first I thought it odd that you would have to say that to your child, but then reading further into the blog, I realized how many times we interfere when our kids are playing. How we give them little pointers and hints, instead of just being absorbed in them playing.

I’ve tried to not criticize my son too much when he is trying out something new, instead letting him learn for himself. I do catch myself sometimes at soccer practice or at swimming lessons encouraging him to jump in or use his feet some more, so I’m just as guilty as every one else. My husband and I try to encourage him when he is playing rather then constantly comment on what he is doing. We try to complement him and give him the encouragement he needs.

I see way too may times at different sporting games, parents yelling at their kids. Instead of watching them play and enjoying those moments, they are caught up in what the kid is doing wrong, instead of enjoying watching them play.

I love just sitting back and watching my son play. The first day of swimming lessons, when they all lined up and off he went, I had tears in my eyes. I realized just how quickly he is growing up. I love watching him learn new skills and overcome obstacles. We teach him to always try his best and if he does that, then that’s all that matters.

We’ve taken the focus off of playing and put it too much into perfecting everything. With kids it should always be about playing and they should know how proud of them we are. They should know that. They should be told that.

The next time you’re at your child’s soccer game or dance practice, instead of criticizing them, take a step back and watch them play, watch them enjoy themselves and then tell them how much you love to watch them play.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!! Don’t forget to link up tomorrow for my weekly Tres-Chic Fashion Thursday Link Up.

Week Outfit Recap, My Impressions Of Target & What Being A Mom Means To Me

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I wanted to thank everyone for their comments regarding my post about my bloggers conference. I’m really excited about the new design for my blog. Can’t wait to show it to you all. It’s almost ready!!

This is what I wore yesterday: my maxi dress, jean jacket, sandals and a statement necklace. I’ve been eagerly waiting months to start wearing my maxi dress. I was in Target yesterday and this woman came out of nowhere, told me that she loved my dress and proceeded to open my jean jacket to get a better look at my dress. I wasn’t sure what to do or say. She seemed harmless and really liked my dress. I took it as a compliment. Has that ever happened to anyone else?

Maxi Dress (Old Navy). Jean Jacket (Gap). Sandals (Aldo). Purse & Necklace (J Crew). Arm Candy (Stella & Dot). Watch (Michael Kors).

This is what I am wearing today: my grey bermuda shorts, black simple top, my flower sandals and my jean jacket. This is definitely a staple and a must have outfit for a mom on the go. It’s comfortable, stylish and allows me to chase after my son at the park.

Jean Jacket & T-Shirt (Gap). Shorts (R W & Co.). Sandals (Steve Madden). Purse (Coach). Arm Candy (Stella & Dot, The Bay). Necklace (My Name Necklace).

Recap of my outfits this week

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 12.47.02 PM

Which one is your favorite? I think mine is the maxi dress with the jean jacket.

So yesterday I finally went to the new Target store that opened up near my house. I’ve heard good and bad reviews. This is what I found:

Prices are comparable to Walmart.
Greater selection of certain products.
Great kids products selection.
They carry Seventh Generation products. Cheaper than my local grocery store.
Closer to my house than Walmart is.
They have a pretty good shoe collection for women. Fell in love with this nude patent pair with studded heels. (did not buy it).
Their women’s section is pathetic. No where near as good as the one in the states.
Their diapers are cheaper than Walmart.
They price match.

So will I go to the new Target? Yes because:

It’s closer to my house than Walmart is
Prices are similar to that of Walmart
I’m hoping that they get a better selection of women’s fashion.

What Being A Mom Means To Me

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A few months back a few bloggers did a series on what being a mom means to them. It got me thinking about what being a mom means to me.

Being a mom means sacrificing many things and that started for me at 4 weeks into my pregnancy. I had such bad morning sickness that I had to give up coffee until well into my 6th month (yes you can drink coffee if you’re pregnant, just as long as you stick to 1 cup and you drank it before you were pregnant). For many of us we begin the sacrifice of giving up alcohol once we start trying. I have to say that was by far the easiest thing to give up until Christmas hit and then it sucked.

Being a mom means getting up in the middle of the night, countless times.

Being a mom means sleep deprivation!!!

Being a mom means my heart melting when Aiden told me that “he loved me” for the first time.

Being a mom means being a super hero to my son.

Being a mom means watching my son grow and excel at things.

Being a mom means cuddling with my son when he feels sad, kissing a boo boo and chasing the monsters away.

Being a mom means falling in love with cars, trucks, firetrucks, garbage trucks, bugs, and anything boy related.

Being a mom means reading the same Curious George story over and over again to a smiling hooligan.

Being a mom means fighting back the tears when I see my son hurt.

Being a mom means learning when to apologize to my son.

Being a mom means being accountable for what I do, because I have a little person watching every little thing I do and say.

Being a mom means trying to find a balance between motherhood and who I was before I had Aiden.

Being a mom means doing the right thing even when it’s the hardest thing in the world.

Being a mom means discipline, structure and routine.

Being a mom means endless hugs and kisses.

Being a mom means countless pillow fights and tickle fights.

Being a mom means having my patience tried, many, many times a day.

Being a mom means learning to say no.

Being a mom means learning about who you are and what you are capable of.

Being a mom means you’re much stronger than you think.

Being a mom means sleep deprivation, sore nipples and recovering from your delivery.

Being a mom means adjusting to your new role as a restaurant to your child.

Being a mom means learning to be a mom.

Being a mom means learning you can’t do everything (I’m still struggling with that one).

Being a mom means learning to let go of your child and letting them make their own mistakes.

Being a mom means learning to guide our children until they become adults and to let them go to make their own lives.

Being a mom means learning to fight for your child.

Being a mom means learning to buy multiples of your child’s favorite toy.

I could go on and on. Being Aiden’s mom means the world to me. Watching him grow every day and develop into this little human is the most amazing thing in the world.

May this blog inspire you to put together your own fabulous mom-on-the-go outfit, to check out the new Target store and to think about what being a mom means to you.

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Happy Mother’s Day to all you fabulous mothers out there!!!!

Tweed, Cobalt & How To Have The Best Relationship With Your Kids

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I spent all day yesterday at a blogger conference. I’ll post about how it went tomorrow. This is what I am wearing today: a pink long sleeved shirt, cobalt crop pants, tweed jacket and my bow ballet flats. I’m loving this tweed jacket. I think it will be making many appearances on my blog!!! If you don’t already own one, you should definitely get one. They are versatile and dress up a simple outfit.

Jacket (H & M). Pants (J Crew). T-Shirt (Gap). Shoes (Aldo). Purse (Banana Republic). Necklace & Bracelet (Ily Couture).

How to have the best relationship with your kids

Recently I received a newsletter from Lisa Bunnage (Brat Busters) titled: Parents: 7 Steps to Best Possible Relationship with your Children. I read through it quickly and found the 7 steps to be quite useful.

Parents: 7 Steps to Best Possible Relationship with your Children

Listen. Listen to understand, not just gather information to lecture with. Lecturing is a guaranteed way to get them to stop talking to you. Listen to all their nattering on about every little detail in their lives, their problems, their fun times … everything.
Validate all their Feelings. This isn’t the same as validating behaviour. But remember that feelings are what drive behaviour. If you can get their feelings all sorted out by listening and validating, then their behaviour is going to be affected in a positive way.
Set a good example. Don’t swear, lose your temper or be moody and inconsistent … unless you want the same behaviour from them. Kids learn by watching, not listening. Monkey see, monkey do.
Discipline. Discipline is RULES, MANNERS and CHORES. If you don’t discipline them growing up, then how are they going to discipline themselves when they are teens and young adults? As they get older make sure they have more and more say in how their lives go. Have discipline charts and agreements and contracts if that helps and make sure you have rules to follow also, and consequences when you break rules. That’s a reflection of the #3 step. Discipline works best when mixed with fun (step #7).
Teach them about Accountability. Teach them that everything they say, do and how they act has a consequence, good, bad and even ugly. My kids used to apologize to me if I had to punish them as they understood that it was their fault, not mine. Accountability is magic.
Make the Punishment Fit the Crime. This increases the effectiveness of the whole idea of consequences. E.g., if 5 year old Johnny hits his sister, he has to make her bed for a week. BUT, if sister teases Johnny about making her bed, she has to make his bed for a week instead. Kids are all about actions, this stuff sinks in with them. Teasing is punishable as it’s another form of bullying.
Be Fun. Have fun with your children on their terms, in their world. Don’t just take them to the park and watch them swing, get on the swing next to them and have a swinging race. Be interactive with them, not observant. Be in their world. You invest in this when they’re little and they are much more likely to let you into their teenage world down the road.

Lisa Bunnage (lisa@bratbusters.com)(604-944-7479)

I work very hard every day to try and foster the best relationship I can with my son. I am by no means perfect, continually making mistakes and will continue to do so. Some of these steps are easier than others to apply. For instance step #3 is hard: Set a good example. I try my best not to lose my patience and/or temper but I’m not perfect. I know “monkey see, monkey do”, but after I do get upset, I sit down with my son and explain to him why I lost my temper and that this is not something that he should emulate. I’m not perfect but at least I acknowledge it and work on it.

My favorite one is step #5: teaching them accountability. I feel like there is a void with children and people today regarding being accountable. I feel like no one wants to be accountable for their actions. They keep passing the buck on, instead of owing what they did. My husband and I are constantly teaching our son that he needs to be accountable for his actions and that he needs to take responsibility for it. We try and set a good example by being accountable for our actions. If we don’t teach and hold our children accountable for their actions, how can we expect them to own their behaviour later on.

I think too many people focus on trying to be their kid’s friend, instead of being their parent!!!! Kids need structure, guidance and boundaries. My son has boundaries (although he does try and cross them and test them every once in a while) and he knows what is expected of him and he knows the consequences if he crosses those boundaries. Our focus as parents should be to guide them and teach them how to be the best person they can be, instead of trying to be their friend. Some famous celebrity said that parent first and friendship comes later. I truly believe that.

What are your thoughts on Lisa’s steps? Do you teach your kids to be accountable? Do you practice these steps and if so is it working for you?

I would love it if you followed me via Facebook, Bloglovin or Pinterest.

May this blog inspire you to try and form the best relationship you can with your kids and help them to become the best people they can be.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!!!

The Perfect Casual Outfit & Finding Your Identity

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How was your weekend? I spent mine working, but the boys had fun. My son had yet another birthday party to go to on Saturday. Since I only have a boy, I am at a loss for what to buy a 4 yr old little girl. Since our kids have more than they need, I tend to buy books as birthday gifts. There is not better gift than the gift of reading, in my opinion :). The ladies at Chapters were super helpful and they recommended: Fancy Nancy Storybook Treasury and Tea Time with Sophia Grace and Rosie (this one was featured on Ellen). So if you need any gift ideas for toddler girls, these books are supposed to be fabulous and very popular, and not your typical princess books.

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Today’s outfit is one that I would describe as the perfect casual outfit. The reason why I say that is because it’s comfortable, trendy, versatile, it’s put together, simple, stylish and effortless looking. For something to be comfortable, it doesn’t mean that you have to be in Lululemon pants. These red crop pants from the Gap, for example, are not only comfortable but extremely versatile. I chose to wear a simple stripe top with it added a jean jacket, accessorized it with a polka dot scarf, cute nude bow ballet flats, this amazingly versatile purse from Banana Republic and added this fabulous turquoise bubble necklace. The jacket and scarf keep me warm and when I take them off, the bubble necklace pops.

Jean Jacket, Top & Pants (Gap). Shoes (Aldo). Scarf (Jacob). Necklace (Etsy). Purse (Banana Republic).

So moms, as you can see you can still be comfortable and dress stylish and chase after your kids!!!. This outfit is also perfect, because each of these pieces are so versatile and can be worn many different ways with many different outfits.

Finding Your Identity

As I was driving to the Stella & Dot Summer launch party last week I got to thinking about my identity. I remember after having my son, my identity was primarily “Aiden’s Mom”. I was no longer just Agi, Greg’s wife, a daughter, a sister, a nurse, I was now defined as someone’s mother. At first I didn’t even think about it and as the months, and year went by, I didn’t want to just be defined as Aiden’s mother. Don’t get me wrong, being my son’s mother is the best label, identity I can have, but somewhere along the way, I lost who I was. I came into this world as Agnes, not as someone’s mother and I knew that I needed to get that back.

Even though I went back to work, as a casual, working primarily on weekends, I still felt like I had lost who I was. I can only imagine how stay-at-home moms must feel. Sure you love being so and so’s mother, but what about you? It helped me a lot to get out and start meeting other moms. I joined a Mom & Baby hiking group, then I joined a Mom & Baby workout group, then I became involved in the Coquitlam Mom’s & Dad’s Group and I started to slowly get myself back. Before having my son, I was an avid reader. It took me a while before I got back into reading. I am so glad that I joined the group because I am now the organizer of the book club. It’s so nice to get together with other moms and share our stories with one another. They remind me that I am not alone and that most of us feel the same way. I felt like I was getting part of the old me back.

We get so absorbed in looking after our kids, making sure they are ok, that the house is running properly, that the bills are paid, etc that we forget to take care of ourselves. I started doing more things for myself, started to discover who I was, discovered new interests and hobbies. In January of 2011 I decided to take a cake decorating course at Michaels. At first I took it primarily to be able to make and decorate birthday cakes/cupcakes for my son. I soon discovered that I really liked it, started making cakes/cupcakes for friends and now have Agi’s Creations. Last July, I decided to start a blog. By exploring new interests and hobbies, I tapped into parts of me that I didn’t even know existed. I get satisfaction from making creative cakes/cupcakes and by writing my blog. Don’t get me wrong, being Aiden’s mom and watching him grow up has by far given me the most satisfaction. What I’m talking about is giving me satisfaction on a different level. Like I’m not just someone’s mom, I’m me. I’m giving myself back my identity.

I’ve spoken with many moms who struggle with their “new” identity and how to find themselves again. The answer is different for all of us, but what I do know is that by finding things for yourself, you become a better person, wife and mother. Your kids see a different you, they see you excel at other things, besides them. One mom I know is taking classes just for her own knowledge and I find that amazing. It’s not for school or marks, it’s for herself. I know it’s not always easy to find time, but I truly believe that if you really want to do something, you will make the time.

The next time you find yourself down and need a break, head out to a coffee shop and open a paper and see what local classes they have, or join a gym or yoga, or whatever. The point is to do something for yourself!!!! Think about doing something that will make you happy, will re-energize and rejuvenate you. The more you take care of yourself, the better mother, wife, friend and person you will be.

So without further ado, here is the winner of the $300 gift card to Gap/Old Navy/Banana Republic. Click here to see if it’s you. Thank you to everyone who entered. Please don’t get discouraged as I’ve got some other great giveaways coming this month and in May.

May this blog inspire you to put together some chic, casual outfits and to do something for yourself. To find things that bring you joy and satisfaction.

Happy Monday Everyone!!!!

Emerald Green Cardigan & Vancouver Named Third Worst Dressed City In The World

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This is what I am wearing today: a stripe jersey dress, emerald green cardigan and boots. It has been raining like it never wants to end for the past couple of days. It’s all because of some tropical storm. This is a perfect outfit to take my son to music class and run errands in. The dress is super comfortable and the cardigan keeps me warm.

Fashion

Cardigan (Jacob). Dress (Gap). Boots (Browns). Necklace (Stella & Dot). Bracelets (The Bay, Stella & Dot, Poshlocket). Watch (Michael Kors). Purse (Fossil).

Arm Candy

Fashion

MSN Travel Rates Vancouver As The Third Worst Dressed City In the World, Thanks To Yoga Pants!!!!

This post started out as something attached to yesterday’s post, but I quickly realized that I had much more to write than I thought. So here are my thoughts on Vancouver being named the World’s third worst dressed city.

Vancouver was recently rated the third worst dressed city in the world by MSN Travel. Click here to read part of it. Not sure that Vancouverites should be proud of that distinction. We can’t blame MSN Travel or be surprised by their findings. I mean everywhere I look, people are out and about in yoga clothes. That includes people walking their dogs, going out to restaurants, dropping their kids off at school and going to yoga/exercise. Where is the pride in how we dress people?!!!! A friend of mine recently took a picture of a woman at a restaurant, dressed in yoga pants and red boots. I’m not sure what that woman was thinking?? Was she thinking that because she put on red boots that it was ok to wear yoga pants out to dinner? Well it’s not!!! It may seem easier to leave the house in yoga pants, but how good can you really feel about yourself?

You don’t need money to dress nicely. You need time, patience and have the clothes in your closet. Many women say that they wear yoga pants because it’s more comfortable. I think that it’s because women don’t take the time to go shopping and have clothes in their closet that make them feel good. I bet if I asked women if they felt pretty in what they were wearing, the majority would answer no. They would explain that they wore that outfit because a) it was convenient b) it was the only clean thing they had and c) they don’t have anything else to wear.

One of my goals when I started my blog was to show women, mainly other moms out there, that you can dress nicely and still be a mom. It takes some time and effort, but it pays off. I know that when my son was first born, every part of my body hurt in one way, shape or form. I made a conscious effort to at least dress up so I didn’t look as bad and as tired as I felt. Many moms use the excuse that their kids will pull on their jewelry or spit up on their clothes, and that’s completely fair. But you can’t walk around for the next 3-5 years in yoga clothes and continue to use that as an excuse. Listen, I know it’s not easy being a mom and trying to feel good with a body that you don’t even recognize. It sucks when you don’t fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes and you don’t want to wear your maternity clothes. That’s when you need to embrace your “new” body and buy a few items that make you feel pretty and are versatile. If you feel good about what you are wearing, you will feel better about yourself. Sure your body isn’t the same but that doesn’t mean you still can’t look and feel good, then when you lose the baby weight you can embrace your new body even more.

A friend of mine, who happens to sell Stella & Dot, was saying that when she does a trunk show, the women say that they have no place to wear the jewelry. Give yourself a reason to wear something sparkly, that makes you feel good. For example, yesterday after dropping my son off at preschool, I went grocery shopping. I put on a couple of bracelets and earrings. Sure no one was going to see them, but it made me feel good. It made me feel pretty. One of my favorite pieces of advice from TLC’s show “What Not To Wear” is does the outfit make you look pretty? If it doesn’t, then move on and find yourself something that does. Yes it takes time, but don’t you deserve it? Don’t your family and husband deserve it? If for no other reason, then do it for your kids. You should really be doing it for yourself, but if you can’t, then do it for your children.

It’s time Vancouver gave back the distinction of being the world’s third worst dressed city and made the world’s best dressed list.

May this blog inspire you to go out and purchase something that makes you feel pretty. That if you are one of the many that wear yoga pants a lot, that you try and put on pair of jeans and a nice top, or add a bracelet or necklace to your outfit, and feel good about yourself.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!!!