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I recently saw an interview that Oprah did with Sheryl Sandberg. Before the interview all I knew about Sheryl was that she had written a very controversial book and that she was getting lots of flack for it. After watching the interview, I was intrigued and inspired to read her book “Lean In”.

During the interview Sheryl addresses her critics and discusses many salient points. She talks about being called a “feminist” in college and how she shied away from being defined as one. When we think of feminists, many of us think of bra burning, granola eating, breastfeeding hippies. But the reality is that a feminist is just someone who wants a better world for women. In that case I am a feminist and so is almost every other woman out there. There’s nothing wrong with being a feminist.

I want to thank Sheryl for addressing many key issues that plague modern day women:

1. Can you have it all?

2. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

3. Working together to create equality.

4. Leaning in. Sitting at the table with the big boys!!!!

5. Can a woman be successful and likeable?

6. Careers are no longer a ladder, but a jungle gym!!!

7. Importance of mentoring.

8. Being honest with yourself and others.

9. Focus on your career; don’t leave before you leave!!!

10. Make your husband a real partner: 50/50!!!

11. You can’t have it all (not at once, anyways!!!!!)

12. Working together for equality.

This book really resonated with me because we as women struggle every day to try and juggle a work life balance. I’m so glad that she was honest in acknowledging that a work-life balance doesn’t exist; that you can’t have it all, at one time. Something does have to give and that we can’t do it all at once. She explains that at different times in our lives, different things are important. When our kids are little for some women that means cutting back their work hours and taking care of them, for others their careers are what takes front seat. She explains that we need to stop focusing on trying to have it all and to realize that we can only do what we can do and that some things will have take the back burner. That doesn’t mean, though, that in our entire life time we can’t have it all, it means that at one point in time we physically can’t do it all and that we shouldn’t be expected to.

Sheryl discusses her own struggles with doing it all. She says she tries to be home at 5 pm for dinner every night and then she works after she puts her kids to bed. She acknowledges that it’s challenging and that at times she does miss recitals, bed times and soccer games but then there are times when she isn’t working and doesn’t check her phone. She says it’s a work in progress. Sheryl is honest and admits that she is not perfect and that she too is a work in progress; that at times it’s hard for her to take her own advice. I appreciate that candor because many people write books, stating that you should do things this way and that way and they aren’t able to do it. It’s nice to have someone be honest for a change and admit that it’s not easy and it takes a lot of effort.

Another point of hers I really liked was “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I thought about that and I still don’t have an answer. It’s a very important question and she talked about how different our lives would be if only we lived like we weren’t afraid. It’s easier said than done when we have bills to pay and need to support a family and she does acknowledge that point. What would you do if you weren’t afraid??? I wish I had an answer for that.

The one that really hit home was the point about 50/50: women working more and men helping out more at home. Sheryl explains that studies have shown that women who work are happier, in turn their marriages are better. Husbands who help out more at home equals a happier marriage and happier kids. I know from personal experience I am a much happier person, woman, mom and wife now that I’m back to working part time. Don’t get me wrong juggling everything is hard, but I feel like I got a bit of myself back. I also see that my son is happier when my husband is home taking care of him. Sheryl explains that everyone benefits when the roles are more equal. I couldn’t agree more, but the problem is achieving this. She completely acknowledges that it’s not easy and that it requires lots of hard work and communication.

This is something that my husband and I have struggled with for years, establishing more equal roles. I know that my friends and I complain a lot about juggling everything and feeling like it’s one sided. I agree with Sheryl that it’s a discussion that must be had between you and your husband. The biggest problem is that we, men and women, see things differently and have different expectations, which is why it’s so important to communicate with one another. For my husband and I it’s a work in progress. I think it’s helped that I’ve gone back to work and my husband works from home.

I could go on and on about this book. I definitely think that it’s a book that everyone should read. Our world would be a better place if there was more equality, more acceptance and support for women. It is definitely a work in progress but the only way things will change is if we women and men take the bull by the horns and make it change.

May this blog inspire you to read Sheryl’s book “Lean In”. I would love to hear your thoughts.