I finally read the best selling memoir by Jeannette Walls, “The Glass Castle”. I’ve been wanting to read this book for a long time, but never got around to it. It was on sale recently and I finally bought it. From the first words written by Jeannette Walls, I was captivated. Through out the novel, I had to keep reminding myself that her story is real, that what I am reading actually happened. Jeannette Walls wrote a beautiful, sad memoir about her childhood and the environment in which she grew up in. She grew up with 3 other siblings in squalor and was raised by very mentally unstable parents. Despite her parents were mentally unstable, they managed to teach Jeannette and her siblings how to read, they taught them about history, about the stars, about life. In their own way, they made some things special for the kids. Jeannette recounts one Christmas where they didn’t have anything and her Father gave them each a star as a Christmas gift. They were told to pick out anyone they desired. Of course we all know that you can’t just give someone a star, but her dad didn’t care, he made it special for them. It remains one of Jeannette’s fondest memories of her childhood.

This story hits very close to home. Although I didn’t grow up in squalor, I didn’t grow up under the best circumstances. I don’t write this easily as I don’t share much about my childhood. It took me years to tell my husband things and I still have a very hard time telling him. I can relate to what it’s like growing up in an unstable home. This book touched me, as I could relate to how Jeannette felt, how all she wanted to do was escape. That’s exactly how I felt and honestly I couldn’t wait to leave home, once I had graduated Nursing.

I had the honour this past Wednesday of hearing Jeannette speak about her book. She explained that she was able to move past the hurt by realizing that her mother and father were/are mentally ill and they didn’t know any better. That they did the best they could with what they had. She said that she has made peace with it and that although it was a hard childhood, there were good aspects of it. It has made her who she is.

As I was getting my book autographed, I broke down explaining how brave I thought she was for being able to forgive her parents. I told her that, that is what I am struggling with, learning to forgive, not for the other person but for myself. She was extremely kind and told me that I may never be able to fully get over it but that it is a process. That I shouldn’t be hard on myself, that I have an amazing, supportive husband and loving son. It made me feel good, because every book I’ve read says that I have to forgive. I have a very hard time forgiving people that have betrayed me. I know that forgiveness is for you not for the other person, but for some reason, I can’t seem to do it. It felt really good to share my story, briefly, and have her understand what I am talking about.

If you get a chance, please read this amazing, bittersweet memoir. It’s not just for people that have had difficult childhoods, it’s a great read and will make you appreciate your childhood and your life even more.

Thank you for letting me share my story. It’s not easy opening up and being vulnerable, but sadly I know that I am not the only one who has had such a childhood.

For those of you reading this who have had difficult childhoods, don’t let it define you. You are not the product of your circumstances. You have the power to change things, you just have to believe it and in yourself.

Thank you Jeannette Walls for your kind words and for giving me permission to take my time and for saying it’s ok.

Happy Tuesday Everyone.